Monday, August 31, 2009
That's our boy.
After our successful "trial run," I say, "Get the camera. Let's have him do it again." Needless to say, he did not get a single one right and completely lost interest in the process altogether. Jeff and I were cracking up.
When Davis is done, he's done. He is smart as a whip (if I may say so myself) but he definitely lets us know when he's ready to move on to the next thing.
Yep, that little face pretty much sums it up.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Immersed.
I almost fell asleep in church today. Who am I kidding? What I really mean to say is, I almost stayed awake. It feels like it has been one of the longest weeks of my life.
We are completing a study at church we're calling "Immersion" in which we listen to the entire New Testament on audio (with voices and music and everything) in 40 days... just 23 minutes per day. The free CD's, MP-3's, and Bible sticks were handed out to everyone who walked through the church doors. It was to start Monday - the first day of school.
Last Sunday, as soon as the assignment was given I realize now that I had immediately allowed myself to be exempt. Sure, all the other families were starting school too, but I knew I hadn't room for ONE more thing on my plate and I knew better about how much I could handle. It was better for me accept that I'd skip the first week than feel like a failure when I couldn't manage it all.
Monday morning, the "Immersion" experiment began. As the week dragged on I felt more like I was DROWNING than anything else. As I struggled to stay afloat, I started justifying, "See... there is NO WAY I could have squeezed in another thing. I mean, look at me! I am a total mess! Imagine if I had tried adding the tapes on top of this?!"
As I half-listened to Pastor Jeff today, thoughts of "it all starts again tomorrow..." started to take over my mind. "Tomorrow, it's early bedtime again, backpacks again, we're out of milk again..." I started wondering what doors God was going to open for me as far as work goes. Would the door include full-time? What doors would that extra money open? What door would that huge decrease in medical insurance open? Would a daycare opening come up?
Jeff squeezed my hand at one point, snapping me out of it.
Jesus instantly reminded me that He IS the DOOR! He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. I started to imagine how different last week would have been if I had made the priority listening to His Word, for just 23 minutes a day. The truth of the matter is, if I am not immersed in God's truth, then I am immersed in something else. This week, it happened to be that I spent the week immersed in pity, selfishness, pride, and busyness of the world.
The texture of each day would have felt so different had it started or ended with an escape... not an escape into housework, phone calls, or blogging... but a meaningful escape into God's Word... our Living Instruction Manual.
The goal this week is to become immersed in the Story, immersed in God's Word, and immersed in TRUTH. God stands at the door and knocks. He is a gentleman and will never force His way into our homes, minds, or our hearts. He has the answers for us because He IS the answer. This week I will let Him back in - back into my home, back into my schedule, and back into the driver seat of my racing mind.
My attempts to be in control last week have left me utterly exhausted. I need rest. Thank goodness His arms are always open so I can find rest in Him.
Friday, August 28, 2009
It's a New Day. Again.
I dropped Jack Everett off at the curb this morning and he confidently marched off to class wearing his Scobee tee. He called out, "LAST day of SCHOOL!!!" I drove off wondering if he understands that he will be coming back Monday. (This ain't Vacation Bible School, buddy...)
After Davis spent some time "feeding the puppy" and "hitting Mommy's camera with the plastic food" this morning, I decided I am going to take him to Open Gym at Sunburst Gymnastics at 11:00am.
We'll see how it goes.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I am having such a hard time.
I hardly know what to do with him during the day. That seems weird to say, but when I was home with Jack at this age, we read book after book, did repetitive language drills, counting, sorting, etc. Baby Jack sat still, soaking in one quiet activity after another. He went with me to get pedicures, sat quietly through long lunches with friends, and was a deep sleeper at nap time.
Davis... not so much... on pretty much any of the things I just said. He goes from pulling on the Monster cable, to the remote drawer, to the electrical outlet, to yanking the lever off the recliner, to the drawer under the stove, to tipping the kitchen chairs. And then back.
I feel like I am telling him "NO" all day. I bring out blocks to stack and that turns into, "Don't hit the TV with a block! Davis, no no!" I get out wooden puzzles, "Don't throw puzzles at the dog! We're gentle with Sadie..." I pull out a bucket of toys, "Davis, where are you?" Oh, eating baby wipes, of course.
All of the doors are closed. All the time. The DVD's are blocked by two wicker blanket hampers. The top two blankets are out of said hampers because he can reach in and remove them now. The remote drawer and oven drawer are now secured. The treadmill is unplugged, plants put away, dog food up high. We had to do NONE of this the first time around. "Davis, the CD-RW's do NOT go in the toilet! JAAaaaaaackkk!!!! How many times have I told you, you HAVE to keep this bathroom door SHUT!!!"
It's entirely too hot to take him too many places in the afternoon, and he's still very much in need of his AM nap so the morning errand-window is short as well. Praise the Lord for the two-naps, because I need at least one a day as well. More often than not, I am tempted to take him to the store just because the carts have harnesses. But, what would I buy and with what money?
I just want to sit here and cry. Oh, and eat. His dimpled smile goes from ear to ear pretty much ALL DAY LONG and it breaks my heart that he's probably wondering why his Mom seems so exasperated with him all of a sudden.
Well, this morning I hit a low point with him. He was trying to tip over the wicker hampers again and I had said "No" and redirected him at least a dozen times. He was whining and throwing himself onto the carpet starting a mini-tantrum. "Davis, Mommy said NO!" He went back to the hamper, lifted the lid, yanked on the linen liner and I finally pulled him away and spanked his hand. Hard. He was crying and rolling around.
I went back to the hamper to straighten it back up. I lifted the lid and what did I see? His fresh milk cup had fallen into the hamper. My heart instantly jumped up into my throat and I felt just awful! Poor baby. All teary-eyed I scooped him up, hugged him and rocked him (for two seconds before he wriggled down), apologizing over and over. He, of course, holds no grudges and gives me pat-pats and a big toothy smile, but I still feel horrible. After all, there had been REAL tears in his little eyes and I am sure he did not understand why his Mother was not helping him get to his milk.
So today I prayed that God would renew my spirit, get me through this tough week of transition, and clearly remind me how precious this time alone with Davis really is. I also pray that I will find some new activities (can you say swingset!?), parenting tricks, and training tools to be an effective teacher and loving mother to this unique little rascal.
I guess no matter how many children you have, each one is an entirely unique experience. Just when I thought I had a fully-stocked bag of tricks for raising toddlers, I am realizing I need to start over with an empty bag. Some of my techniques will work for Davis and many will not. That's scary to me, but today I need to embrace it.
I want last week back. I want summer back. I want my mornings back, my routine back, my play group back, and most of all, I want Jack Everett back. I dropped my baby off at school and a different boy came off the bus. He's bigger, he doesn't need me to help him with his backpack, he doesn't feel like sharing about his day, and he certainly doesn't want to "snuggle" his Momma when she needs it most. Oh, and he rolls his eyes.
Tomorrow is Friday and I am ready for this week to end. I am going to dinner with several amazing Moms from our church tonight and I just hope they don't ask me how Kindergarten is going. Chances are it won't come up since most of them home-school (and I am starting to understand why), but I feel like if it does I will start crying right there at Salsalito's. I have already decided if I start to feel like crying, I will just eat faster.
It's worked for me for thirty years, so why stop now?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Pooped.
After receiving several immediate responses to my Facebook status that read: "Experienced Moms, how long should I let him sleep?", I promptly woke him up from his peaceful slumber.
No naps... push through... early to bed. I am learning.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Calling all Members of the Peanut Gallery...
The school nurse called me this morning to let me know she'd be speaking with Jack's classmates today about his food allergies. She mentioned that she would start off with an ARTHUR video, then talk about ways they can help Jack (tell a teacher if he says he's not feeling well, not share food, choose non-peanut lunch items when possible, etc.)
I asked that she not bring too much attention to him as he embarrasses easily and just met these kiddos yesterday. As soon as I hung up with her, I googled the video she'd be showing.
Here it is, separated into two Youtube clips.
If you have time, I would like to hear your thoughts about the video:
So, what did you think?
"The wheels on the bus..."
He looks tiny getting off the bus on his first day. He was sitting in his assigned seat - first seat right behind the driver. You can see the driver teaching him to use the hand rail. He then hands the little ones their backpacks once they are safely at the bottom.
This video is pretty anti-climactic, but I wanted to remember how small (and proud of himself) he was on his big day. You could totally tell he felt a new sense of independence.
Jeff and I are really happy for him.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Overheard on Day One:
Jack: "Did you know that I get to ride with NO SEAT BELT! The driver has to wear a seat belt but none of the kids! Isn't that awesome?"
Mommy (trying to exhale): "Yeah, awesome."
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J: "If you have something on your brain list that you want to do, you have to raise your hand. But you can't do that thing from your brain list unless the teacher says Jack."
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M: "How did nap time go?"
J: "I didn't close my eyes because I was trying to fold my towel the right way. Then I just folded it up into a pillow.
M: "Did ANY of the kids in your class sleep?
J: One boy did. One girl cried the whole nap time because she missed her Mommy."
M: "What did Mrs. Casillas do?"
J: "She didn't do anything. When it was time to stand up, the girl was happy again."
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M: "Tell Ms. Julie your favorite part of Kindergarten!"
J: "Ms Julie, We get to ride the school bus with no seat belts!"
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M: "Was there anything you didn't like about school?
J: "When you packed my Veggie Straws with my sandwich, they got kinda soggy."
M: "Yeah, Mommy is trying to figure things out too."
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M: "Could you read the note in your lunch bag?"
J: "Yes, and if you didn't write hearts and a smiley face, you would have had room at the bottom to write SADIE LOVES JACK! Tomorrow you should do that idea."
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M: "Did anyone else in your class ride the bus home today?"
J: "I was the only one. Everyone else had to ride home in a CAR SEAT."
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M (during nightly prayer): "Dear Jesus, thank you for watching over Jack at school, and for comforting Mommy and Daddy and Davis because we missed him all day, etc..."
J: "Dear God, Thank you for keeping me safe when I don't have to wear a seat belt on the bus. And thank you that Mommy got so excited to see me when I got home."
Oh my goodness, this kid is something else. You truly just never know what he'll say next.
If I had to guess, though, it will probably have something to do with seat belts.
... then it was empty lunch box, rinse Thermos, sign papers, commit my life away on a volunteer form, write check to PTA, re-pack backpack, feed dinner, bath time, update Facebook status, make lunch, quick trip to Walmart for Whole Milk and tin foil, lay out clothes, brush teeth, prayer, bedtime, blog.
We're exhausted, the house looks like a tornado hit it, and tomorrow it all starts again. How do working mothers do all of this? I will soon find out I guess. And I can't imagine - Kim and Sarah have kids at THREE different schools!
I guess we just take it one day at a time and find comfort in the fact that we are not doing it alone.
One small step for Jack, one giant leap for Mom and Dad.
After breakfast, last-minute lunch note from Mom (is that totally uncool?), bed-hair combing, and a short episode of "Are these shoes more big boy than THESE shoes?" we were ready to wake up brother.
We parked and walked to the school. As soon as we got to the front I felt tears well up a little in my eyes. I told Jeff, "This is silly," took a deep breath, and that was it.
There were no hugs or kisses, just a quick thumbs up, and we turned and walked away. It was hard, but we knew it would be easier for him than if we were to join the line of parents shoulder to shoulder watching their kids, taking pictures, and crying in the hallway. We walked past the library just as the School Counselors began the 'Kleenex and Donuts' Separation Anxiety Clinic for about two dozen parents feeling the same way we were feeling.
I got a tiny bit choked up again when Jeff and I stood for the Pledge of Allegiance during our meeting with the School Nurse. Just knowing that my little Jack was standing in his classroom with his little hand on his little heart made me feel like he was right where he needs to be.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Calm before the storm.
Tomorrow is a big morning and I couldn't believe it when my "Countdown to Kinder" read ZERO days, 10 hours...
The time is upon us and we're ready. We are all four headed to Scobee in the morning. Jeff, Davis, and I will drop him off in his classroom no later than 7:45 am and will leave immediately (just as we were instructed.)
The three of us will then be waiting for him at the bus stop a few houses down at 3:00 pm. In between 7:40 and 3:00, we plan to twiddle our thumbs and watch the clock.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Meet the Teacher pics
"Dear Mrs. Casillas. I am so happy to see you. Love, Jack G." You never know what he will want to write. I just call out the letters as he dictates. It's too funny. He still wants to take it to her on Monday. He said, "She will know it's me in the picture because I am reaching up to hold her hand and I am the short one."
In the hallway beneath the Scobee Challengers wall of honorable traits... or whatever it's called.
"Reach for the Stars" is their little motto. And here he is sitting on the Lone Star State on the library map rug. He wanted to check out some books right then and there. He is going to LOVE library time.
The nurse advised me to put a picture of him on the EpiPen box and return it to school Monday. Poor little guy. The label, "Use as directed for Anaphylaxis then go directly to the ER" makes me a little nervous. The school nurse said there are 14 others in the school who also have EpiPens on file. She's a pro and I feel great about her.
Left: Here is the picture he colored during the Orientation time. He asked if he could take it home to finish coloring the background. God forbid we leave one ounce of white space on a coloring page. I am telling you, we have a little arteest on our hands. Right: Jack wearing his School Spirit shirt ready to sleep with his new Space Shuttle pillow. (Effective PTA fundraising at work.)
Looks like we are officially ready for Monday.
Tax-Free weekend includes diapers!?
http://www.window.state.tx.us/taxinfo/taxpubs/tx98_490/tx98_490_list.html
I might actually fight the crowd after all... for a few last-minute things.
Mom or Mel, want to join me?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Still waiting to "Meet the Teacher."
When we arrived to Mrs. Casillas' classroom (with a personalized note and picture for her from Jack), we were advised that Jack Everett would be one of the students assigned to the new teacher on Monday. I was disappointed, but he and Jeff took it quite well.
I feel sorry for Mrs. Casillas (and the other teachers on the Kinder team.) She had called each of her students the night before, had her roster completed and laminated, each desk labeled with laminated name tags, etc... and it was all about to change for her too. So the Principal assured us that there are plenty of highly qualified teachers in the applicant pool and that she would find someone who could "set up a classroom in a day." Then she told us that the person she interviewed at 3:30 today is a first-time teacher. She'll interview four more tomorrow and make her choice.
He won't be in a normal Kindergarten classroom, but they will turn the Science Lab into a classroom instead. That will take a week. So, he'll report to Mrs. Casillas' class the first week, then transition to a new classroom the second week. I know all of this bothers me more than it will bother him.
I guess I am going to have to relax and trust the process. It's incredibly hard. Mrs. Casillas told us, "In order to promote through to 1st grade at the end of this year, they need to be able to recognize their numbers up to 31 and be able to count to 100, so we'll be practicing these things every day!" Jeff and I looked at each other. Is a first-time teacher going to know what to do with the kids like Jack who have already been doing these things for a long time?
Oh well, Jeff keeps telling me, "Jack will be fine. He knows nothing else. As far as he knows, you get a new room and new teacher every week. It will not bother him like it bothers you. They'll train the new teacher on the EpiPen." I feel like as soon as he gets used to where to put his bag and supplies and rest towel, etc. it will all change, but I know he'll be fine. It just won't be as smooth as it could have been. I am not super flexible with things like this, but I know that Jack needs to learn to be. And he will. And it will be fine.
I have to be honest...the urge to home school crept in again tonight. I cannot transfer my anxiety to Jack so I am praying that I can relax and that God will send the perfect teacher for our unique but ordinary little boy. I appreciate you joining me in prayer for our Principal in her selection process this weekend.
One more thing. We are the ONLY parents (of 25 in his class) who indicated that their Kindergartner will ride the bus home on the first day of school. It's a big step for him and a big step for us. We trust him. We trust the school. More importantly, we trust God to watch over and protect His little boy. Not to mention I am not a big fan of carpool lines.
... I will have to post the rest of Meet the Teacher (as well as adorable pictures we took) tomorrow. Jeff is ready for bed, and while this new "silent keyboard" he bought me has reduced the noisiness of my late-night blogging, it does not change the fact that I don't have the keys memorized so that I can type in the dark. The lamp has to go off.
Ugh. I wish we had a home office.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Big days ahead...
Better charge the camera.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Ahhhh.... Sunglasses!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Setback at the Allergist
LEFT: Two minutes into test. RIGHT: End of the 15-minute test. He was "so so so itchy," but was so good not to scratch or rub up against anything during the timed test period.
After she measured each of the injection sites, she rubbed his back with Benadryl cream... his favorite part. Relief. They wait another 10 minutes and then administer oral antihistamine just to make sure. By the end, he was pretty worn out. So was Mommy.
He completed the necessary paperwork for Kindergarten and sent us on our way. I thank God for the healing that has taken place in Jack's little digestive system, remembering how bad it has been and how far we have come. We press on despite this setback, but have to re-focus our attention to his diet and re-train his caretakers on the whole Epinephrine injection process.
In the meantime, I just pray that we never have to use it.