New life. New dreams.

Ah... before we had a baby...

One thing we always enjoyed was the peace and pace of our own home. Our furniture was spotless, our cars nice, and our house quiet. Really quiet. We couldn't help it, but the truth is our friends who had toddlers had become a lot of work to invite out. They seemed kinda broke, so they always wanted to stay in. Of course, we would have preferred the comforts of our own toy-free house, but they usually wanted to do it at theirs, so we would oblige. We had a nice time, but the kids were sometimes kinda loud, their fingers sticky, and we usually had to start early or end early. If we did go out, they wanted to do dinner OR a movie... but usually not both. Most of the time, they arrived late. We would just try to be understanding. We simply weren't as close to our friends once they had little ones. We loved their kids, but preferred the visits be shorter than longer. We just couldn't relate to their lives, even though we tried.

So, fast forward a few years to today...

Over the past four or five years, we have developed a special relationship with our friends Darin and Marilyn, who have now been married two years. We like to spend time with them for a variety of reasons. Not only do we like to do so many of the same things, but Jeff and I also enjoy observing the way they live, and watching them go through life's stages just a few years behind us. They are so spontaneous and carefree. That used to be us... loads of discretionary time and money, and willing to pay extra for a good time or an added convenience. They have the bright red MiniCooper, while we had the Acura.

Now, when we are with Darin and Marilyn, WE are definitely "the couple with a kid." They invite us to eat out, and we are looking for coupons. We let the waiter put the appetizer on their tab and they understand. We might go to dinner, but skip the movie. They have learned not to invite us unless there is at least 90-minute's notice. We are onto them; They usually say, "Let's meet at our house, and then go from here." We realize that they'd rather wait for us on their couch than in the front of a restaurant. They have been at dinners where Jack has gotten sick, gone potty, made a mess with his food, or cried his head off... Sometimes all of these at the same meal. Although I know Darin must be thinking, "Check please!" he tries not to let it show. They invite us to their EXTREMELY quiet and clean house for dinner, and I spend the majority of the time hoping Jack doesn't throw up on their microsuede sofa or fabric dining chairs. 'Wouldn't it be easier to do this at OUR house?', I think to myself.

We still dream, but as parents, those dreams have changed. Everything has changed. The budget has changed. The priorities have changed. We take fewer risks and make smaller moves. We check the safety ratings. We get several estimates. We do the painting ourselves. Our furniture has sticky hand prints on it. There are toys all over the place. We wait until it comes out on rental. We even buy generic soda (that one's for you, Tracy!)

We admire Darin and Marilyn. They buy and flip land on a whim. They try new recipes. They test drive Jaguars just for the fun of it on a Sunday afternoon. They put a croquet field in their back yard. Darin took up painting one day and actually sold one! They drive out to the lake just to catch a sunset together. If the radar shows a possibility of rain, they will still pack the cooler and take the boat out. After all, if there's a chance of rain, then Darin knows there's a chance of sun! It is not that they are frivolous or materialistic... they just live life to the fullest and we love that about them.

Sometimes when they share one of their crazy ideas with us... ("We are going to sell everything we have, move into a duplex, rent out the other side and retire to live on a houseboat by the time we are 45!") After we get past our immediate thoughts of the risks and possible down sides, we marvel at their ability to dream. We know that these dreams can come true for them - and they remind us we could dream like that too.

They are rubbing off on us, and us on them. They convinced us to fight the crowds to go downtown to see "Chicago." We convinced them to carpool to the company picnic. They got Jeff and I to pay half for a street-side balcony room at the Palacio Del Rio to watch the fireworks on New Year's Eve over the Riverwalk! We got them to go visit our financial advisor and dragged them to "Dave Ramsey LIVE."

We try to silence our conservatism, because it can so easily come across as pessimism or doubt. We have to stop ourselves from saying, "Now, where would you put a carseat in a convertible?" or, "Are you sure you'd want to live that far from your future child's grandparents?" We are intentional about being the kind of friends who encourage Darin and Marilyn's dreams and support their zest for life.




We are thankful for them, and enjoy the fun and spontaneity they have helped to bring back into our lives. We don't know if they will have children of their own, but if so, we look forward to seeing them through that journey. When the time comes, I cannot wait to hear them describe life before they had kids.

I imagine they will sound just like us. Nostalgic, but never regretful.