My Beautiful Boy.

Last night, Jack Everett came out of his room at about 11:40 pm and I happened to be up. He sheepishly came toward me, squinty eyes hardly able to adjust to the light, and said, "Momma, I am totally burned up." I could tell he was sweaty (not sick, just unable to give up using his heavy but super-soft Lightning McQueen blanket despite Mom's warnings that he's going to get hot.) Anyway, I offered him a drink of water, brushed his bangs across his forehead and whispered that I'd turn on his fan and get him his blue softie (his favorite silkie blanket.)

"Mommy, can we rock for just a little bit?"

Son, I thought you'd never ask.

The sleepy boy in his Batman pajamas crawled up into my lap. It was like old times only so much different. I can't believe how big he is. His hands are so big. His fingernails aren't like baby fingernails anymore. His head hardly fits on my shoulder. His legs hang over the edge of the recliner threatening to clear off the contents of the side table.

But, he's still my baby.

"Can you sing me the Monster Song, Mommy?"

"You bet I will. Close your eyes."

I have sung this (John Lennon) song at least two hundred times and have loved every single verse. However, for the past, oh, nine months I have been singing it to someone else.

"Close your eyes...
Have no fear...
The monster's gone...
He's on the run...
and your Mommy's here....

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful... Beautiful Boy."

His eyes were closed and his face wore this little grin. It was a secret snuggle time. Daddy and Davis were asleep and it was just us.

I whispered, "Are you cooling off?"

"Not yet. Sing me a NEW Jesus song."

"I love you Lord... and I lift my voice...
to worship you... oh my soul... rejoice.
Take joy my King... in what you hear...
May it be a sweet, sweet, sound... in your ear."

I used to LOVE when my Mom sang that song. (Then I remembered my brother and I giggling immaturely about a "sweet sound in your REAR," but that's another story.)

"Mommy, sing just one more and I will be cooled up."

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God...
and His righteousness...
And all these things shall be added unto you...
Sing Allelu-Allelujah!"

Then, upon request, I even sang "Away in a Manger."

I wished this sweet time would last forever. I cannot get over how big his feet are. He can't even shop in the toddler department anymore. He shops in BOYS. His hair smells so good. His eyelashes are so long. He loves his softie. I love his softie.

"Mommy, I am kinda getting hot again."

I was holding him pretty tightly.

With that, he got up, kissed me goodnight, walked back to bed, closed his door, and tucked himself back in. So tall. I can't believe he will be in Kindergarten. He's ready. Am I ready?

How many more times will I rock and sing to my Beautiful Boy?

As many times as he'll let me.

Jack with softie, 12/6/05