"My Best Friend's Wedding" meets "The Biggest Loser."

Ok, for those of you who know Sandra - and if you know me, you probably know Sandra - we have been best friends since we were assigned seats next to each other in Mrs. Davis' 5th grade portable. She is the one person who knows all the dirt on me and loves me anyway. She is the only person who is truly honest with me even when she knows the truth will hurt.

On the surface, we are an unlikely pair. Even in 5th grade, I was the only girl who played football at recess, and was all-time QB at that. (Thanks, Dad, for teaching me to throw a mean spiral.) She, on the other hand, started her own recess cheerleading squad, "The Chickabooms," or something like that... I started on the volleyball team in Middle School and she french-braided all the players' hair on the bus before the games. I went to MacArthur High, and she went to Churchill. To those of you who lived in this town in the mid-90's, you know that was huge. I was Baptist, she was Catholic. As if our friendship did not have enough stacked against it... I left for UT Austin and she left for Texas A&M. She likes country, I am a rocker. She likes cats, I fear cats so much I have bad dreams about them scratching my eyes out. I have stayed in San Antonio my whole life and have never lived alone, she has lived alone for years, and even picked up and moved to D.C. -- TWICE. Despite our differences - for 18 years now - we have maintained a forever friendship that I would not trade for the world.

We have attended each other's college graduations, grandparents' funerals, parents' birthday parties, and even each had a small crush on each other's older brother at one time. We are also exactly one week apart. It has been a tradition that we celebrate our birthdays for that entire week. From February 8th (her b-day) through the 15th (mine) we have like six parties. At first Jeff was in disbelief, but he is used to it now. He just knows it's our Birthday Week and now he rolls with it.

Did I mention that I have helped that girl move more times that I can count on one hand. For five years or so... Every fall, up to College Station. Every summer, back to San Antonio. Every single time - that girl has the ORIGINAL boxes - and that's no lie - for every single thing in her apartment. I mean, when you help her pack and re-pack, you don't have to label boxes - the picture is already on the outside! From picture frames to shelves, to the blender... to her VCR - all original boxes were intact for every move. It is unreal.

We go in and out of phases, as with most relationships, and there have been times when we have had less in common than others. I got married very early, while she was single, dating, and finding herself. It seemed sometimes like all her stories were about camping out for concert tickets or attending Aggie football games and tailgate parties, while my stories were about finding a good deal on laundry detergent. Still, we managed to relate and I think we took turns living vicariously through each other over the years.

When I went into labor with Jack Everett, she was right there. When the contractions were closer together and delivery was eminent... it was the unspoken time for her to leave Jeff and I to be alone for the delivery. I said, "No, Sandra, please stay! I changed my mind! I really want you in here for the birth!" She knew me well enough, and gave me a hug and said, "You're getting caught up in the moment. You had decided a long time ago you wanted it to be just you and Jeff. I'll see you back in here after he's born." She was right - I was so glad it was just Jeff and I in the room when we went from being a couple to being a family. She knows me.

Well, one thing we always had in common was our weight. No matter where we lived, or what we were going through, it seemed that when I would call her to tell her I had lost 27 pounds - she had lost 27 pounds too, dang it. When she'd come back over a summer, we'd both be heavier again. I'll never forget one summer - we went together to join Bally Total Fitness - all determined. We each signed three-year contracts!!! I went three times in three years... for real. Do not bring it up around Jeff. So, and this is not a joke - I paid $1000.00 per hour for my membership.

Anyway, it was uncanny how we were, for literally ten years, riding that weight loss roller coaster, but were always the same size. That all changed when Jack was born. That same year, Sandra's addiction to exercise was also born. So, I gained 40 pounds, and she lost 40. That was the end of that little special bond we had.

So, that pretty much brings me to today.

Yes, all of that introduction leads to the true reason I sat down to blog tonight. Wow, that's what I call a tangent. I thought this would be a super short blog.

So, Sandra, my very thin very best friend Sandra is getting married on March 29, 2008. I am honored to stand in her wedding and am thrilled that she found Trevor - they are a perfect match. Yadda yadda. Back to the blog.

She sent me the picture of the bridesmaids dress this week, and um, wow. It is gorgeous, .... um, on the model. I stared at it for a moment, wondering if the seamstress would charge by the hour to get that thing to fit my... body shape. This would be costly. Then, my immediate thought was... "If I get pregnant tonight, would I look 'cute pregnant' at the wedding or would I just look fatter?"

Pregnancy is not an option - I'm not ready. I quickly printed out the picture of the perky model wearing the darling dress with darling shoes and pinned it up on my cubicle, right over the snack drawer full of Butterscotch Discs and Smarties.

So, as I like to say, "It's on like Donkey Kong."

I went home, skipped my usual snack in the evening, ate a light dinner, and sat down to do some Math. These were my thoughts: "How many days between now and the wedding? OK... that's how many pounds per week? Don't count the week of Thanksgiving. Or Christmas. Or Birthday Week."... "OK, I can still do this. OK, I will HAVE to join the gym... How much is that? Doesn't matter, it's worth it... I spend just that on Dr. Pepper and Chipotle... I will be eating less too... it will be a savings really..." I quickly realize it is a repeat of the thought process when I got the invitation to the High School Reunion. Only this time, there will be professional photographers. And, there will be six others in the same dress, lined up, potentially looking better in it than I do. This is serious.

Here is a dress very similar to the strapless bridesmaid's dress I will be wearing in my best friend's wedding in six (short) months: I have changed the exact cut and color to save the surprise. But, this is the idea. The good thing is, it's really really pretty.

So, I conclude: They say, "A goal not written down is simply a wish."

This is how it looks on me now...

My goal is for each of the other bridesmaids to gain 20 pounds before the wedding. Um, I mean, my goal is to lose 20 pounds before the wedding.

Jeff and I are going tomorrow to join Spectrum Fitness, and have mapped out our evenings and when we will work out together. After the visit to the gym, we are going to the grocery store for that big pre-life-change shopping trip together.

In all seriousness, throughout our friendship, Sandra and I have taken turns with big events in our lives. I have never (and this is rare among girlfriends.) ever felt a sense of competition between me and Sandra. We are intentional about being the type of girlfriends who allow each other to have time in the spotlight. We take joy in watching the other shine. So, Sandra, I am not making this wedding at all about me and fitting into a dress. Don't worry, I'm totally confident that I will make you look gorgeous.