It's called the "Wii Fit."
My nieces Hope and Lacey have one but I had never tried it. So, last night, Hope created my "Mii" on their system and named her "Auntie M." Jack enjoyed helping her pick my hair, eye shape, nose, mouth, shirt color... everything. That's about where the fun ended.
So, after entering my birthday and height, it asks that I stand on the Wii Balance Board scale. My weight pops up on the big screen, but not before the system lets out a GROAN as if I am about to break it. Of course laughter breaks out in the room.
As it calculates my BMI, this pops up on the screen:
As soon as it does, there is a loud plop sound and "Auntie M" suddenly has a gut and love handles! How rude. I then undergo a series of balance tests and it asks me (and every person in the room looking at the big screen) to wait while it calculates my "Wii Fit AGE." Oh great. I haven't even gotten used to my REAL AGE... You can hardly see this next pic, but here it is:
Yes, that is a FORTY-FOUR! Wow, this started out as a fun activity and now I feel like a FAT person... who is also OLD. Oh, and let's not forget WEAK. After the laughter in the room dies down, I am asked to choose a personal trainer... male or female. Well, those who know me know I instantly picked the male trainer and guess who it turns out to be?!?! Is it Bob Harper?... NOPE! Bob Greene?... NOPE... it's...
... JEFF GRIFFIN !!!??!?! What the?! This just got one million times worse.
I wanted to say to the screen, "No, dude, this is NOT a good evening." Instead, I completed a series of humiliating ab-tightening games:
I headed soccer balls while avoiding panda bears and soccer cleats and was called... "Amateur..."
... I bent down and then plunged up for snow-ski long jumps and was called... "Unbalanced."
After about six sub-par jumps, I felt a little bit like a kid with an overwhelming urge to whine, "I don't wanna play this any mooooooore!" So, Auntie M. took a break from the slopes. We packed up the kids and my personal trainer drove me home. As soon as we walked in, I saw this:
My new treadmill from Dad. I suddenly felt a fondness for it that I had never felt before. I have totally been taking it for granted. I began to appreciate that it loves me unconditionally. It does not call me names. It does not make groaning sounds when I put my weight on it. It does not make a loud buzzing sound when I stop before the allotted time is up (thank goodness.)
This morning I reflected on last night's experience and looked at the treadmill, my trusted old friend. As a sign of my gratitude, I decided to give it a day off today. Hey, it deserves it.
Besides, I am a Wii bit sore from ski jumping.
6 comments:
Yii are so funny! You were good for a laugh though! Thanks for the chuckle at your expense.
Now you know why I haven't stepped on the ol' Wii fit. I don't know how to do it without the girls or Van's help and I sure don't want them watching me at the same time either!
I totally agree, my treadmill is much sweeter! Mine's been on about a 3 week break also! Time to put her back to work though!
Ooh, I don't like that game. If you felt bad, what about all of the teenage girls whose self-esteem it could really crush, you know?! That's not a nice game!
I've read this about three times and it gets funnier each time. Of course, it's not ME it's about!!!
GMM
Hilarious! I knew there was a reason we haven't gotten the Wii.
i have the same avatar! except for mine has glasses. and i've seen it swell up too. :(
you are a brave woman to put this all for us to see. :(
hoping to see you soon!
i LOVE the Wii Fit. You gotta give it a second chance. The yoga and strength training are so fun! And it lets you run while you watch tv. I love it. You sound like Zak. He HATES the Wii Fit and desperately wants a treadmill. It laughs at him too, don't worry.
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