Until next season...

Well, there's ONE Spurs fan in this house still smiling...

I said, "Come on Jeff, pleeeease let me take just ONE picture of you with Davis."

He refused and was not the least bit amused. (You can see that I was a teeny bit amused...)

Davis' favorite summer jammies

While digging through yet another Rubbermaid full of clothes from the garage, I was so excited to discover Davis is big enough to fit into my absolute favorite pajamas Jack used to wear at this age. They have little bulldozers and cement mixers on them and they are incredibly soft.

When I showed them to Jeff it was obvious that they summoned fond memories for him as well. I quickly threw them in the washer and as soon as they were dry I grabbed the jammies, the baby, and the camera.

Yeah... so... putting them on him wasn't QUITE as sweet and nostalgic as we had envisioned. As I have blogged before, this baby HAAAaaaaaaaates when shirts are pulled over his head.

Oh well, a few minutes later he realized just how cute he really was and we were able to stare at him and cover him with kisses, remembering Jack Everett in those same "Construction Zone" jammies.

Today I began the search for pics of Jack wearing them. I know I have them... in some tote somewhere... on 35mm film negative I'm sure... sigh...

Bustin' a few new moves...

Presenting... our fearless rough-and-tumble guy trying to figure out how to get that little body movin'.

"The Stairmaster:"

"The Runaway Walker:"

Notice we let him try things we would not let his Big Brother try... but, he just gets up and tries again when he tumbles.

Fun to watch.

Interview - Jack Everett, age 4

Okay, I followed Paige's lead and asked Jack these 25 questions while Jeff recorded his answers - verbatim. My favorite was when Paige's three-year-old answered that "Mommy is really good at jumping over fires." You can tell by the end of the interview Jack started saying sweet things just to be done with the questions. Oh well, I still REALLY liked hearing them!

1. What is something Mom always says to you?
"To put my Pull-up on."

2. What makes Mom happy?
"Be nice and be good."

3. What makes Mom sad?
"To not be nice and not be good."

4. How does your Mom make you laugh?
"Tickles me."

5. What was your Mom like as a child?
"What does that question mean? I don't know. She looked like beautiful?"

6. How old is your Mom?
"Forty"

7. How tall is your Mom?
"I don't know about that. I think it's three inches."

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
"Drink diet coke." (ouch)

9. What does your Mom do when you're not around?
"Nothing. I don't know that question."

10. If your Mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
"Being nice to me."

11. What is your Mom really good at?
"Playing games. Really really good at it."

12. What is your Mom not very good at?
"She's not very good at cooking."

13. What does your Mom do for her job?
"She does a good job."

14. What is your Mom's favorite food?
"Oh, not again. I can't do any more questions. I just want to wrestle with Daddy."

15. What makes you proud of your Mom?
"That's she's a good Mom."

16. If your Mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
"A Mama Scooby. You know, like Scooby Doo?"

17. What do you and your Mom do together?
"Play games. Read a book. Well, read lots of books."

18. How are you and your Mom the same?
"Brown eyes."

19. How are you and your Mom different?
"You are bigger than me."

20. How do you know your Mom loves you?
"Because she's such a great Mom."

22. Where is your Mom's favorite place to go?
"To Chili's"

23. What does Mommy like about Daddy?
"Being a wife."

24. Who is Mommy's best friend?
"Miss Cara."

25. What makes Mommy special?
"She's a great Mom. I have kind of had enough."

It was funny hearing Jeff after a while, perhaps gettin' a little jealous... "Jack, what makes DADDY special?"

Try it... and post a comment linking to your answers... or on Facebook. I want to hear! Maybe Dads could interview their toddlers for a Mother's Day gift! (Ooh, that depends on the answers, I guess.)

Heck, haven't you always wanted a Mother's Day card that says, "To my 40-yr-old 3-inch tall Mom, you are a bad cook and drink too much soda." ???

Goodnight stars... Goodnight air...

... and goodnight sweet boys...

...everywhere.

Loudboyosaurus.

This is what I mean when I say my little guy shrieks like a Pteradactyl.

If you think it's loud in the bathtub, you should hear it at the library.

Training before Teaching...

Many of you (especially those in my playgroup) have heard me mutter this phrase:

"How can I sit them down to teach them about Christ if I can't get them to sit down?"

Well, here is an article that better articulates this principle... finally someone was able to put it into words. Thanks, Cristina for the link (and another blog I "must" follow.)

Excerpt:

“Training must come before teaching. [Teaching] is impossible unless the children cooperate. And they don’t cooperate unless they are disciplined from their earliest days. This discipline lays the groundwork for teaching.”

Gateway for Knowledge
by Carolyn Mahaney

... we went to see “The Miracle Worker.” Most likely, you are familiar with the plot. It’s the story of Annie Sullivan’s struggle to teach the blind and deaf Helen Keller how to communicate. Initially Annie found it extremely difficult to teach Helen due to her wild and violent behavior.

But then Annie had a revelatory moment. All of a sudden she realized: "Obedience is the gateway for knowledge to enter the mind." She understood that she needed to first teach Helen to obey before she could teach her knowledge.

At this point in the play I couldn’t help but think of my daughters, Nicole and Kristin. That’s what they are doing. They are attempting to train and discipline four little boys to obey so they can impart knowledge. And not just any knowledge, but the most important knowledge of all—the message of the gospel.

So to all moms with little children I desire to encourage you today. I want to cheer you on in your efforts to discipline and train your children to obey. It’s hard, exhausting work, I know. Just watching my daughters makes me tired.

But, it’s worth it - because an obedient child is a receptive child. And with a receptive child you can teach them the good news, the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ. Now that’s a goal worth striving for, don’t you agree?

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22.6

To read the full post, click here: Training Before Teaching.

-------------
And on a lighter note: I have made significant progress with Jack even in the past two days as I have concentrated so much on this particular behavior. Despite the two-minute warning on the playground, Jack was not ready to leave six of his closest friends when it was time to go. He pouted, but got in the car uncharacteristically quickly when he heard the NEW key phrase, "Mommy has given you an instruction." So, that was good.

When we got into the car:

Mommy: "Jack, thank you so much for getting in the car so quickly. I know you were disappointed that it was time to leave, but you chose to obey Mommy."
Jack: "We NEVER get to play long enough."
M: "I know how you feel. I wish I could stay and talk with Ms. Julie and Ms. Cara for hours and hours too, but we all have to get home for naps and dinner. I appreciate you helping us stick with the agenda."
{ a minute or so passes...}
J: "Well, after Kindergarten is over, I decided to get a job as a guard."
M: "That's interesting. What kind of guard?"
J: "A night-time playground guard."
M: "Ooh, you'd be good at that."
J: "I will play all night long on the playground all by myself with no sunscream."
M: "Sounds like a great plan."
J: "I told you I was going to like Kindergarten."

Talking back about talking back.

Thanks for taking the time to help a Mom trying to refine her approach. Your varied responses have been enlightening and thought-provoking.

It's interesting that several of you chose to respond to me privately instead of using the public "comments" section. I feel compelled to share anonymous excerpts from your private e-mail responses because they were so very helpful and insightful.

Hope you don't mind. If so, it's kinda too late.

Mom #1:

"Your engaging with him in the negotiations is the payoff - even if you are not technically giving in. Just the fact that you continue to respond to him is positive reinforcement for the behavior. What I did with [my children] was make the request and stop talking. If they argued, I said something one time like, "No, we are not discussing this. You are going to do ..." Then I said nothing else, no matter what they said.

I sometimes used body language (stern expression, pointing, etc.), but I did not talk again if the child tried to argue. When they were small enough to physically pick up and take them wherever, that worked well. If you do this, the behavior will ramp up at first, so get ready, but it will stop sooner than you think. Because he is used to your responding, he will likely talk louder, repeat himself over and over, or even yell or cry, but he'll get tired of that. I think you'll be surprised. You just have to tune out the whining and go about your business cheerfully as if you never ever heard it. The key words are "firm, calm, and in control," though you may think you are going to completely lose it if he says one more thing. At first, you may have to repeat the "No, we are not discussing this" a few times, but say it calmly and be sure to keep it short (don't embellish) and say the EXACT SAME SHORT phrase so he gets the message.

You have to remember that if Jack darts into the path of an oncoming car, you will not have time to explain the laws of Physics to him. You need him to obey you immediately and without question in some situations. That thought always helped keep me focused when I dealt with this. And nipping this behavior in the bud does not mean you stop explaining things to and exploring ideas with your boys. You can do that at the zoo and at the park, and during non-confrontational times when you don't have to draw a line in the sand. Yes, we want our children to be non-conformists and free thinkers so they will succeed in the real world, but we also know that in the real world there is a time to hold our tongues and not say everything we think."

Mom #2:

"We tell him what he's doing is arguing with Mommy. "You are not to argue with Mommy." Sometimes a simple "Do you trust Mommy?" diffuses the whole situation.... "Then you need to obey" (we tell him - a lot - that true obedience is doing something immediately, completely and cheerfully). So if he's not showing a right response, we practice how it should be done.

And when he does it right, we cheer him big time! (i.e. "YAYAYAYAY! That's how you should do it! The first time Mommy asks you, and with a cheerful heart! Way to go! [Son,] do you know when you respond like that you are becoming more like Jesus!? And you're honoring Mom and Dad! And that pleases God. YAYAYAY!!!!")"

When I was young, (I feel as though) I was allowed to reason with my Mom way too much. I think this was a combination of her trying to give me a voice, and my absolute stubborn insistence finally wearing her down. I would argue my point into the ground with her and Dad, no matter how small. I remember when Dad told me I could not hang my Milli Vanilli poster in my bedroom. I was about ten years old. He told me I was not going to have a huge poster with two grown men on my bedroom wall. I vehemently argued how completely unfair it was that Trey was allowed to have a poster with David Robinson and Michael Jordan on his wall. Most of the time I argued until I got spanked. Even then, I had to have the last word. If I couldn't, I had to have the last eye-roll, the last sigh, the last door slam...

In fifth grade I remember stating my case over and over about getting points off while the kid next to me did the same thing and got full credit. I asked questions about many of the class rules. "Why do I have to do more work just because I finish before the other kids do? So I get punished because I am efficient? With all due respect... That doesn't seem fair."

In high school, I tried to reason with my teachers, "I don't understand. Why are you worried about me sleeping in class when I am getting straight A's? Shouldn't you be worried about the kids sitting in the front taking notes and getting C's and D's? I mean, I am just asking. With all due respect..."

Fast forward to my entry into corporate America. Even at age 16, working at Kinko's, I questioned why there were certain statements in the Employee Handbook that were out of date. I mean, I was being asked to sign a form for my personnel file saying I agree with everything in the Handbook when there are parts that are not correct? "With all due respect, I really don't want to put that in my file unless there is a small addendum."

For as far back as I can remember, I secretly felt like I was smarter or more complex than my bosses and teachers. All of them.

I am not saying that Mom failed or that she took the wrong approach parenting me. Now that I am a mother, I am just amazed that she did not send me to boarding school or admit herself into the loony bin.

This feeling of being entitled to an explanation or reason that suits me has not served me well in many many real-world situations. I have overwhelmed my coworkers and college project groups with questioning and demands for explanations. Until I was convinced that something made sense, was the most efficient way, or was worth my time and/or energy, I had a hard time following directions or completing assigned tasks. I have been hard to manage, I have rubbed people the wrong way, and I have been coached on certain behaviors at work, most of which lead back to my inability to discern the right way and right time to "be heard" and to "have my say."

There were times I needed to understand, "This is not an appropriate time to ask questions or demand explanations. I will wait until a more appropriate time to bring this up. In the meantime, I am just going to do it." I can look back on (several) specific situations when my ideas or suggestions would have been well-received or even implemented had I waited and trusted the processes or authorities in place. I often wonder if my bosses have ever said, "Good grief, here she goes again. She asks so many questions she exhausts me. Even if she has a valid point, I don't have time to explain why we do every little thing we do."

No, I really don't want my son to blindly follow authority or mindlessly carry out orders with a programmed, "Yes sir." Mom has always told me, "People who think like you are people who change the world. You are hard to wrangle, but you are the changemakers." I can appreciate this aspect as well. Just like Jack, more often than not I feel like "I have a better idea." I go into stores, companies, schools, banks, doctors' offices, and almost immediately feel like I could improve things. I analyze processes, envision major change and innovation, and challenge inefficiencies. I recognize that the ability to reason and think critically is a skill and an asset.

I do want Jack Everett to be able to change the world and make a difference, critically assessing life situations. However, at this young age, I am most concerned with laying the foundation that throughout his life, God will place him under authority (albeit flawed) - teachers, bosses, law enforcement, etc. and He expects His children to respect and obey, even at times we don't fully agree.

I want Him to know that although God's truth stands up to the most extreme scrutiny and exhaustive questioning, in the end, He commands us to trust Him and obey... fully and completely.
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More to come, I am sure... please continue the comments and dialogue...

"But Mom..."

Jack's Sunday School teachers and Kid's Quest teachers tell me that he is SO well-behaved and polite. I thank them, but am secretly wishing he was THAT polite and respectful at home. Don't get me wrong. I am extremely glad he behaves so well for other people. Really glad. It's just that I wish he acted that way more for me.

He is very good about so many big things. He does not get into things, he is helpful, he stays with me, he is not noisy, he is kind, he cleans up after himself... and I do realize that these are REALLY big things.

The current problem is... he talks back. He talks back a lot. He has something to say about almost every single thing I say. He has an opinion, a better idea, a complaint, or a counteroffer for everything I ask or tell him to do. He negotiates, bargains, and sometimes even whines. (I know my parents are reading this, chuckling, because I realize I am describing 'little Melissa.')

Yesterday was one of the worst days in regards to this particular behavior. I am genuinely stumped and need to reach out to my blog mommies to figure out how to nip this before it gets out of hand.

Example 1:

Mommy in the car: Jack, when we get home, it will be rest time. You need to get your Pull-up on and change into softie pants as soon as we go inside.
Jack: I have a better idea. Put softie pants on, empty out my pee-pee so I don't need a Pull-up, then rest time. I decided to just wear underwear.
M: Jack, we tried napping in underwear yesterday and you pee-peed on your bed. You are going to wear a Pull-up today. There is no time to play when we get home. It's straight to rest time.
J: I don't like rest time. I am not tired.
M: We are not discussing this.
J: But, Mom! Daddy said...
M: That's enough. I SAID, we are not discussing this.
J: (almost starting to cry.) You hurt my feelings when you keep erupting me! I just wanted to tell you somethi...
M: Jack Everett, what you are doing is called talking back. We are home, so get out of the car and do what I said or you will get a spanking. Do you understand me?
J: I understand. Here is the new agenda: Put Pull-up on, put softie pants on, eat red Jello, go to rest time. And can I keep my light on?

It is exhausting. I have conflicting feelings about it. I want my children to know that their opinions and ideas are important. Of course, most mothers do. However, he feels like the commands or requests I give are up for debate. He feels like he deserves to "be heard" and gets frustrated when he is interrupted. Many times he has a valid request or point. That's not the point. His words are very RARELY disrespectful... it's the fact that he is saying anything other than "Yes Ma'am" that makes it disrespectful. Am I expecting too much for him to just say "Yes Ma'am" at four years old? I don't feel like I am, but maybe I am wrong.

Example 2:

M: Jack, let's put your shoes on so we can go to Mommy's doctor's appointment.
J: I don't WANT to go to your doctor. I want to stay here by myself.
M: (firmly) Jack, it's time to listen to Mommy and do what I asked you to do.
J: I NEVER get to do what I want to do. How come kids always have to do what grown-ups want to do?
M: (choosing not going into the "God put parents at the head of the family for a reason" talk again...) Jack Everett. That is enough. I am not going to ask you again. Get your shoes on or I am going to spank your hiny.
J: Mommy, I think this is turning into a bad day. I wanted to have a good day but you are making it a bad day because you are using your angry voice.
{Spank, cry, whine, drag...late to appointment... again.}

I don't want his teacher to say, "Kids, it's time to go inside. Recess is over," only to hear Jack start in on all the reasons he needs just a few more minutes. I don't want him arguing his point into the ground when his boss to tells him he needs to improve on something. We have always spoken to him like he's years older than he is. While this has been awesome for his vocabulary, it has also created an expectation that we will explain, teach, reason, etc. with him any time he wants an explanation.

Like I said, he is a really good boy and a joy to be around. We have simply offered far too much lee-way when it comes to explanations and reasoning. It's just that when I tell a six or seven-year-old to do something, I expect that they will say, "Yes ma'am." If we don't nip this at age four, it will only get worse.

If you have practical words of advice, please share. I really do mean that.

Note: If you feel compelled to say one of the following phrases, however: "Gosh, MY kids just never acted that way." or "I simply wouldn't ALLOW that in my house." or "My kids just KNEW better than to try that with me." then please refrain from commenting because I am in a sensitive state.

Just to let you know.

Hillsong performs "Stronger"

I had not heard this song until today. It's pretty awesome.

Does anyone have any Hillsong CDs I could borrow?

Jump-a-bye-baby...

This thing STILL has the same uncanny effect on Davis. I think it's so funny. I wanted to get a video of him jumping like crazy in the jumperoo to write about how LOUD this thing can be. I get the camera ready, put him in it, and he gets...

... incredibly sleepy.

If only there were something like it for four-year-olds.

Happy 9-month Birthday, Big D!

So these little photo shoots have become a real bear.

Although getting him to sit there has become more of a challenge, this Momma's determined!

He'll thank me later, right?

Enjoy!

Three fourths of a year.

Well, well, well. I have found myself describing my littlest guy a little differently than I did just one month ago. I find myself saying, "He's a MESS!"..."He's ALL boy!" ... "He sure is BUSY!" It's my nice, positive way of telling other Moms that he is totally wearing me out. They seem to understand the terminology - especially Moms of boys.

The good thing is, aside from being totally on the move, he is still amazingly even-tempered, and pretty much along for the ride. He is especially tolerant of his brother's antics, clumsiness, and overall rough treatment. Most of the time he just looks at me like, "Aren't you going to DO something about him?"

It's really been remarkable how quickly he has gone from crawling to pulling up to standing holding on with just one hand. I have a feeling he will walk sooner than we think. *sigh* We got him this push toy and although he likes it, I think he "gets" that we WANT him to do it, so he lets go and tries to find something we DON'T want him to do.

For example, in this short two-minute video he gets into the electronics three times and the steam cleaner hose twice. You can see what I mean by rough handling as Jack repositions him a few times.

(Disclaimer: I don't usually let Jack move him this much, but someone's gotta hold the camera.)

If he does this enough times.... he ends up like this:

That's right... contained. I love the expression on his face here as if to say, "Great. Not this thing again."

"Look Ma! No teeth!" The other major change since the 8-month update is the massive amount of drool dripping off this kid's chin. His outfits or bibs are soaked most of the time. He gnaws on his toys, fist, spoons, and constantly sucks on his bottom lip to soothe his sore gums. Jack did the same thing at this age, and seeing him with that lip tucked in brings back so many memories. Now, the MAAAAJOR difference is... Jack was NOT still nursing at this time. That's all I will say about that. You Moms who breast-fed your babies through teething know exactly what I am talkin' about.

His laugh is totally contagious and he expects a tickle fest at every diaper or outfit change. He is a total Houdini during diaper changes and (sad to say) we have officially hit the age to start discipline. Of course, I just mean using a firm voice and pushing those chubby hips down into the changing table to prevent him from diving off of it.

Jack seemed totally surprised to hear me use a firm voice with Davis. To be honest, I think he kinda liked it. It's almost as if he was saying, "See Davis, that's how she talks to me too. You better just get used to it." I have to use that same firm "Davis, NO!" when he spits out his baby food and laughs. Yeah, not funny. As soon as I correct him, I hear the parrot behind me in the kitchen, "Davis, NO! Mommy said no spitting!" ... followed by, "Thanks, Jack, but I will handle it. Remember, you are only responsible for Jack."

We are about to say goodbye to the beloved (and I DO MEAN BELOVED) infant carrier. His toes are officially over the edge although he is still shy of the weight limit. I wish I could whisper to him to tuck his legs in to make it less obvious, but realize that very soon I will be carrying him everywhere we go.

[This would be okay, except that his favorite activities while being held include pulling the straw out of my SONIC drink, flicking me with Diet Dr. Pepper. I mean, water. ahem. He recently shoved it back into the cup, puncturing the side of the styrofoam, creating a sticky soda fountain out the side of it into my grocery cart. There I am, totally sucking on the side of a Route 44-ounce huge cup looking even more like a soda-addict than I usually do while he is laughing and hitting my arm.]

He pulls my necklace, tugs on my earrings, and loves to slobber up his hands really well before touching my glasses lens. This is in addition to the bra strap pulling, shirt sucking, back arching, and constant attempts to reach down and pull Jack's hair. He'll get better with time. Right now, he is in the carrier most of the time when we are out. I know he'll get used to it and I may just have to leave my soda in the car (gasp.)

He was getting so big that when I received these adorable pajamas from Emily (Evan) in the mail, I held them up, immediately determined they were mis-sized and would fit him NOW. They were so soft and cute, I just had to put them on him. Well, sure enough, they were huge, but he wore them the whole night anyway.

Here is our problem-solver in action. I have to resist the urge to help him, and frequently have to remind Jack not to do things for Davis that he can do for himself. You can hear my excitement when he finally figured out how to stand up without dropping the toy.

It's been so much fun seeing this side of his personality emerge. He is rough and tumble, adventurous, and fearless. He loves to be swung in the air, jostled, and wrestled with. He splashes in the tub, makes loud noises, and attempts numerous mad dashes for the electronics, dog water, and treadmill throughout the day, every day. No matter what, though, he does it all with a huge open-mouth gummy dimpled smile that I can hardly resist.

In three short months we will celebrate his first birthday and send Big Brother off to Kindergarten. As sad as that is, I am truly looking forward to the time alone with him to be his first teacher. It's completely starting over with the daily learning routine, just like I did with Baby Jack... beginning with the very first lesson:

"Books are for reading, not eating."

Happy Easter!

He is risen indeed!

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

Jack Everett is ready for Kindergarten.

The question is...

Is Kindergarten ready for Jack Everett?

This is the one and only pic I took at the school today before Kinder Round-up. I took it quickly and hid the camera. I didn't even take it inside. No tears were shed, except Jack came close when he realized he could not check out "his new" dinosaur book from the library. He was especially thrilled that he will be a Scobee Challenger* and can't wait to get his blue shirt with a space shuttle on it.

(* I feel really bad for saying this, but I wonder at what age they tell the kids about what actually happened to the Challenger?)

Godzilla on the loose.

Jack was playing quietly in his room the other day with a new wooden train set (hand-me-down) from Aunt Kim. Well, it was time for "rest time" to be over and Davis had woken up a bit early, so I decided to let him loose to surprise Big Brother in his room.

I expected Jack Everett to see Davis' cute little face and greet him with a smile and a snuggle. I grabbed the video camera in anticipation of this display of brotherly love.

Yeah, I pretty much had to stop videotaping to prevent Jack from slamming his brother's fingers in the door. I explained that he can replace the full-on body block with some kind words along the lines of, "Mommy, can you please come get Davis? I am afraid he's gonna mess up my train!"

Jack replied, "But, he's like a huge Godzilla and he always ruins and slobbers my city!"

Poor little guy. But I must say, he is definitely earning his new nickname "Davey Destructo."

Hats off to Moms who can get their babies to wear hats.

Notice his arms had to be restrained just to get a picture with the hat on. That right arm slipped out of Mel's grip just before I snapped the photo...

We've got a live one here. Mr. Happy's mischievous BUSY side is coming out with a vengeance. It's no coincidence that my big lull in blogging came at the same time Davis became super mobile.

He... is... into... EVERYTHING...

Get me outta here!

Davis is getting a little harder to contain these days...

Yeah, not lovin' MOM so much at the moment.

It takes two seconds flat for him to flip over during a diaper change and try to make his escape. The straps are no match for Davis, especially when his playmate stands at the top of the changing table and distracts him from the task at hand.