Jack Everett, from a very young age, has been able to sit still and concentrate for longer periods of time than most of his peers. We started noticing this as early as four to five months. He had an unusual ability to concentrate on books and we could read several books and he'd sit still, pointing to dozens of items. He would turn pages, and was certain not to skip a page. At six or seven months, well before he was talking, he would crawl and put things away, collect things and put them into a basket. His friends seemed messier, more rowdy, more adventurous, and more active. Jack would just sit still and concentrate.
While we first attributed it to the fact that his mother and father were so interesting and intellectually stimulating, Jeff and I began to more closely monitor this atypical attention span. He preferred things in certain order, organized his books and videos, wanted his room clean, and started certain obsessive behaviors. Again, we just took notice and began to monitor it, but weren't really concerned. One specific example which stands out in my mind is that as soon as we would take off his shoes, he would immediately put one sock in each shoe, carry them to the front door and line them up meticulously. For those of you who witnessed it, you'll remember that it was cute, but elicited a lot of "
Hmmm...I wonder why he is so concerned with those being lined up so carefully..." It didn't matter if he'd never been to the house, he'd wander around until he found the corner near the front door. He'd line up magnets on the fridge, line up carrots on his plate, sticks on the playground and blocks and cars at home. This is all before he could really talk.
It became more apparent when he began to talk. We talked to the pediatrician about these behaviors, and he told us it was important not to discipline them, because right now these rituals are important to Jack. This sounds easy, but we'd be leaving the house, and Jack would start to cry because the books weren't put away or because the shoes
weren't lined up. I would say, "Let's just leave it, we have to hurry!" He would cry and scream. I wanted to say, "Stop it, that's enough, we HAVE to go!," but I could tell this was really bothering him. I'd sigh, quickly put everything away, then he was ready to go. Just like that. No more tears. (No wonder we were late all the time!)
On another night, I put him in his crib, and he stood there pointing and crying, "Toys, toys!," he screamed. I said, "No, we're not playing with toys, it's time for bed." He said, "No, away, away!" I looked at his toy basket and one toy had fallen out of the basket onto the floor. I picked it up, put it away, and he smiled. He laid down immediately to go to bed. After that, we moved all toys into the guest room so that his sleeping room could be kept perfectly clean so that he felt calm and could rest.
The pediatrician advised not to mess up his order on purpose because that would upset him and he would not understand. For instance, I would give him his crayons in a bucket instead of lined up in the box. He'd take them all out, line them up, and straighten them before he'd even start to color. If I dumped them or used one of his crayons from the middle of the neat row, he'd start to cry. "You messed it up, Mommy!" Tears were shed. If I messed up his perfect row of kitchen magnets or left my shoes laying around, it would not be long before I'd find that they'd all been lined up again on the fridge and at the front door.
Some Moms say, "Man, I wish my kids had this "
problem!"" Some laugh, wishing their toddlers would keep such clean rooms. We would agree that it was nice in some ways, but I had read (a lot) about Obsessive-Compulsive disorders in children, and knew that this disrupted
children's lives in serious ways, and I could not help but worry about it getting worse. Jack's teacher, when he first went to a public daycare, told me that Jack would not play with the other children on the playground. He would stay near the building and line up rocks and sticks instead. The school had "Nanny cam" and I could watch Jack in his classroom on the internet while I was at work. I could see him, day after day, working alone...lining up Noah's animals along the tables, almost every day.
Well, when Jack Everett got so sick, we stopped focusing on the obsessive sorting and lining things up as much. He was so lethargic and slept so much, and frankly, the house was such a mess duing that time, he didn't have a choice but to begin to accept a little mess and chaos!
As his healing began and his digestion stabilized, we started noticing that some of these behaviors were starting to go away. (Not to imply that there is a correlation there.) He was healthier, stronger, more active, and started being more, well, BOY! Instead of lining up his legos by color and shape, he started making things like rockets and robots. Instead of lining up his cars, he'd race them and take them on adventures. He started doing NORMAL boy things like peeling the wrappers off his crayons and dunking his hot dogs in his milk instead of lining them up on his plate.
While we are no longer fearing an OCD diagnosis, it is still definitely Jack's tendency sort things, line them up, keep them in order, etc. He still has an unusally long attention span for writing, reading, puzzles, etc. but he is able to cope better when the books aren't perfect, if the pillows are crooked on the couch, and if his shoes aren't lined up. The doctor did a test on him at his 3-year check-up that I thought was interesting. He picked up a book and started reading from the middle. While you could tell that Jack wanted to start from the beginning, he just furled his brow, then got over it. The doctor said that while OCD cannot truly be diagnosed until around age 7, most 3-yr-olds suffering from it would not be able to tolerate starting in the middle of a book, or turning pages from right to left.
So many people have said, "You should take pictures of his OCD tendencies in action." Well, I wish we had done it sooner, but here are some examples from the past 2 months.
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We put Jack to bed, and he did not make a peep. We went in to check on him and this is what we had found: These toys were tossed in those two blue bins (empty on left) when we laid him down for the night. Quietly, and in the dark, he had taken them all out, lined them up, and gotten back into bed.
At 3 years and 1 month old, he patiently put this entire alphabet floor puzzle together without assistance. He does not know his letters and the order, he just patiently tried each piece one at a time based on the shapes of the pieces themselves.
I went to take a shower while Jeff was mowing the lawn. I put on a cartoon, but when I came out, this is what I found:
Notice how the cars go from largest to smallest, then start over with the dinos... there is always some sort of order with him.
I told him to put his cars away one night. He said, "Mama, I'm all done, " and this is how neatly he put them away. He keeps them parked like this because he can't handle keeping them in a bucket all dumped in no particular order.
Even when he's playing like a boy, jumping around, his trademark sorting can be seen.
This was his first attempt at a 24 piece puzzle, two weeks before his third birthday. I have posted some of these pics before, but thought I'd point out how he put the puzzle together in sequence.
He started in the lower left-hand corner and worked one row at a time. Most two-year-olds look for the eyes, or a large figure in the center of the puzzle. Jack looks over each piece for that one particular piece and does not move to the next one until he finds it.
He ended in the upper left-hand corner.... every time. I thought that was so interesting.
Today, I can pour out three 24-piece puzzles on the floor, mixed up, and he can put them all together, separately. I'm not bragging; I just think it is fascinating that he will work on something that long and that his concentration and attention span last... I just wish I knew how their brains worked.
Here's a farm scene:
Even at the golf course...
And of course, folding clothes...
On this particular night, Jeff went in to check on him to make sure he was in his bed. Here is what he found, so we grabbed the camera: (Yes, that Pull-up is supposed to be on his hiny, not on his puppy dog. You can see that potty-training was in full swing by the fact that he doesn't even have a sheet - just a mattress pad... we do the best we can.)
So this is a blast from the past, but I remember when I found little Jack, 11 months, after he'd gotten into the Q-tips... I told him he then had to put them all away, and when I came back to check, he had put every single one of them back in the box, in a super neat fashion. I couldn't believe it.
There are more examples where that came from - and lots of pics too - but you get the picture. I figure Jack Everett will enjoy reading about this later and hopefully laughing about it. We make jokes about Jack being OCD, but the more I read, the more I realize that is not a joking matter. Children who suffer from OCD tend to wash their hands uncontrollably, cannot complete school assignments, erase holes through their papers, suffer from depression, etc. We continue to monitor these tendencies, but are starting to think that Jack is just a neat little kid... who like things neat.
"Let's JUMP together on the count of three!... One... two..."
"THReeeEEE!..." (This was the shallow pool.)
Ok, Jack is not so sure.
"Hmmm.... It's much deeper than I thought."
Jack finally gets up the nerve. "Wheee!"
"Wook, I did it Momma! I'm way down here!"
After that first one, he and Lawtie jumped about forty more times.
"Wook, I did it Momma! I'm way down here!"
After that first one, he and Lawtie jumped about forty more times.
"FREE Fallin'...."
I said, "Okay, Jack, you can touch the tree, but look at Mommy." This is the result. He did his best not to look at the tree. I love this picture.
Of course, my favorite one turns out blurry. Still so handsome.
"I can see you Mommy!"
" Rock n' roll, and Hook 'em Horns!"
OK, maybe a little like his Daddy too.
Jack, keeping all his ducks in a row.
By the way, a special thanks to Aunt Mel for the green roll-on body soap. It works great on his body, the wall, the tub, the rug, his towel, the curtain, and all the rubber duckies' faces.
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