Listen here.

Sorry, but I had to laugh when I received this report from the daycare today. Click to enlarge.

"Davis has been having a listening problem! He doesn't want to clean up and doesn't listen when I ask him to come to me for something."

Really?! I don't know what she's talking about. I mean all WE have to do is calmly say, "Davis, come here." and he sprints off down the hall away from us laughing.

Doesn't want to clean up? That's crazy. We just say, "Time to put the blocks away." As soon as he hears our request, he dumps the whole container upside down.... and then sprints off down the hall away from us laughing. Seriously, she must be talking about a different baby.

He is the cutest little stinker. Every evening when I pick him up, I could just squeeze him and smell him and kiss him all over.

That is, if I could get him to come to me.

Mother's Day.

I invite you to say a special prayer for our friends Josh and Cassie who, just 9 days ago, lost their little baby Samuel Jacob just hours after his birth. I can't help but think about her today as she remembers him, grieves him, enjoys sweet Natalie, and spends time with her own Mother.

Love you, Cass, and am thinking of you today.

Big Bro saving Mama some time!

After much convincing, Jack agreed to take a big step to help "Team MomandDad" save time in the evenings. He thinks he's hot stuff now, taking a real stand-up shower.



Poor Davers, his bathtime buddy is officially gone.

Patient patient.

He... was... awesome... and his Momma was SO relieved. I cannot wait to see the professional pictures. Here are some behind-the-scenes with our little camera (no flash) during the photo shoot yesterday at Methodist Children's. It brought back memories of visits we've had there where the mood was not nearly as light.

Simon, the photographer, was really amazing with him. As you can see, Jack sure played up the "act like you're sick" part of riding in this wheelchair.

Picture this.

Today's photo shoot went really well. We are compiling photo essays (maybe 10-12 photos each) showing "A Day in the Life of..." different hard-to-fill positions. It's an exciting project, but takes me away from my desk quite a bit each day. This was the 4th of 6 photo shoots, and #5 is tomorrow. So far, we've been using other employees to pose as patients and I even found myself laying on the table in the Special Procedures room posing as a spinal chord injury patient waiting for surgery.

Tomorrow's photo shoot is at the Children's Hospital Emergency Room. For that, we need a kiddo to pose as a patient, and who better to grace the pages of the JoinMEthodist.com website? That's right... I am taking Jack Everett out of school to pose as our pint-sized patient. I called his teacher and made sure he wouldn't miss anything, and was lucky that Emily is willing to pick him up and bring him to my office at 10:30 tomorrow.

I don't know about anyone else, but there is something so special about seeing my kids at my workplace. I'm not sure just what it is, but it brings me such joy to show them where Mommy works and to show my coworkers why I do this day in and day out. They already love Jack Everett, thanks to his visits and the personalized artwork he created for each of them.

Tomorrow's visit could be different. It really could go either way. He could be compliant and totally work with me to pose for the pictures pretending to be treated by the RN we're highlighting... OR... he could get really embarrassed and hide behind my leg and say he doesn't want to do it. He is very easily embarrassed and does NOT like people bringing a lot of attention to him. (Just like his Mom.) With my bosses and coworkers and a photographer, in the ER, at the hospital... this really does have the makings of a fiasco... or a big success.

I can't worry too much about it. Whatever will be, will be. All I know is, either way, I am totally looking forward to going to work tomorrow and that is a truly refreshing feeling.

Want to see pics from our day? I'll post them tomorrow for my Facebook fans, including you, Emily... my newest fan. That'll teach you to leave your laptop unlocked...

The little guy is talking a lot more...

I will try to upload some video of his new words. He is hilarious. I have had a great weekend so far.

I am so incredibly behind at work, and know I should spend hours tomorrow on my laptop going through the 156 (last time I was brave enough to log on) NEW candidates who have applied to my positions.

It's really true what they say about "A recruiter looks at your resume for about 20 seconds before moving on to the next candidate." My best advice (as if someone asked)... if there's something on your resume that makes you think,"I will explain it in the interview...", you should explain it on the resume. In this job market, with far more applicants than openings, if something needs explanation, I just move on.

Anyway. I really feel for job-seekers on the other line of this impersonal electronic process.

So what was I writing about? Oh yes, Davis using his words. And my great weekend. I am just trying to let everyone know that I am doing better. Another recruiter, Mindy, sat with me and went through a bajillion catalogs for giveaways. We are going to print "JoinMEthodist.com" on mini handi-wipes (3"x 1.5"), magnetic heavy-duty chip clips, blue ballpoint dart pens, lip balm, sticky notes, reusable grocery bags, and sunglasses holders. It felt really good to get that out of the way since it was on my long project list. Not surprising I chose the most fun one to mark off my list first.

Emily and I had a playdate today and I accidentally left my cell phone at home. I also left my laptop cord at home. It was so great to have uninterrupted time with my dear friend and the boys enjoyed seeing each other after WAY too long. We even put the kids down (all three) for naps and watched "Baby Mama" while enjoying some Chipotle takeout. Yum. When the kids woke up, we went to Kohl's and Target where I found a new Welcome Mat to go with the new flowers we planted.

Tomorrow is Part Two of our "Great Marriages" series at church. The first one was about how to be a Great Man. This one is about how to be a Great Woman. I am actually kinda nervous. In my current state of emotional overload, I am not so sure I need to hear about anything else I need to work on. But, I'm going.

...as any Great Woman would.

*ha*

Deadlines.

"I will commit to you that I will call you back by close of business today to let you know if a decision has been made." It is almost midnight and I JUST remembered hearing these words today. They came from MY mouth... to a candidate who has waited far too long to hear the outcome of her interview.

After muttering this promise, I immediately sent an e-mail to the Hiring Manager with whom I had scheduled the interview. It was an e-mail follow-up to a previous voicemail, which was a follow-up to our conversation at the end of Thursday's HR Staff meeting, after which she was scheduled to interview with a different candidate for this same role.

Well, I never heard back today, but did not create an Outlook reminder for myself to call the candidate either way... and the day got away from me. The message got buried under my other twelve voicemail messages at the office number and eight messages on the cell phone. (One from the school nurse telling me that the letter on file from Jack's pediatrician exempting him from the MMR vaccine will not work for next school year and needs to come from the Health Dept in Austin.... which will require documentation from my allergist and new allergy testing...)

This particular position has 160 applicants in queue. (I meant to unpost it from Monster before leaving Friday, but... the day got away from me.... which meant 61 new applications were received over the weekend... which is sure to generate some phone calls.) I have phone interviewed a dozen, scheduled in-person office interviews for six, second interviews for two, and am waiting for feedback from the manager. I need a decision. In the meantime, I juggle voicemails from candidates who are anxious and who all feel like it is ME who can't make up my mind.

As days pass, I fear that the candidate we DO choose will be so fed up that we took so long that she might decline my offer. In this case, I can't say I'd blame her. In this economy, people are desperate. Time is money, and hope is all some of these people have left.

In the meantime, I have 26 other positions just like it.... for Case Managers, Chaplains, Administrative Assistants, Clinical Educators, Biomedical Equipment Technicians, and a weekend/evening Childbirth Educator.

I am designing and populating content for our website, (to be rolled out in May!) designing and ordering new Recruiting shirts, ordering giveaways for our Job Fairs, and coordinating professional photo shoots (1-2 per week) with a photographer to take pictures for the website... with all the CEO's, who need release forms, and Outlook invitations, and reminders, and I need to be there early to pick out pretty spots on the campus. For which I need to fill out a mileage reimbursement form. In the meantime, I am maintaining the JoinMEthodist Facebook page and Twitter accounts.... for the 2nd-largest employer in San Antonio. Since I started 90 days ago, our team of ten has hired over 600 people and received over 12,000 applications.

Can I really do all of this? Am I cut out for it? Is EVERYONE as overwhelmed in their jobs as I am? Will I learn how to manage better or is this too much to expect? When I leave the office, I WANT to leave work behind... After all, I need to think... do we have milk in the fridge? Are the boys allergic to tomorrow's daycare menu item?... Did I put Jack's bedding in the dryer? The new To-Do list begins. I turned on the laptop instead of going to bed because I can't sleep until I email this particular woman back. To tell her I still have no answer.

I will start her e-mail with a variation of how it seems I start every e-mail... and phone conversation with a friend... and regretful RSVP... and overdue visit with my Grandmama... and phone call to my Dad... and to my blog... and to my kiddos...

"I apologize for taking so long to get back with you..."

Charmed, I'm sure...

Well, I am happy to report that our Charming Cheetah received a glowing report the day after my pitiful post. If I wasn't so pressed for time, I'd post a scanned copy of the report. It said that our Hungry Hippo had an "Outstanding day! He didn't cry at all! So glad that tooth finally came in!"

Thank you, Lord. True or not, the A+ report was exactly what I needed.

Still adjusting to Jungle Mania.

Toddler Room, Day Four:

This breaks my heart. I knew there would be a transition period into the new big-boy classroom, but the thought of my sweet baby being grumpy, hungry, undernapped and constipated while I am at work is almost more than I can stand. To top it off, the teacher (who, according to the birthday bulletin board was born in 1988) feels that it's time to stop letting him have "woobie" at naptime.

This just doesn't feel right, but I don't know what to do. Really, is ANY daycare going to be good enough for my baby? I could move him all over town and there will ALWAYS be SOMETHING I don't like, right? Or, should I trust my instincts and say there could be something better? I mean, all week I have been praying for them to describe my charming, zany baby as something other than grumpy. I'd probably lose my mind if they marked him a Terrible Tiger! I mean, I understand the awkward attempt at animal alliteration, but who calls a 20-month-old TERRIBLE??

Why does it take me so long to come to terms with my decisions about working? This ongoing internal conflict is exhausting. When I tell myself to "give it to God" I'm starting to think I don't really know how to do that. When I think I've done it, it feels more like I've said, "just don't think about it too much or you'll get upset." When I start to get upset again, I tell myself, "Remember, you gave it to God, right?"

I am going to give Davers time to adjust to the new classroom and focus on the silver linings (he seems to be talking a little more and is getting better with a spoon...) I have to remind myself that several families at our church have had their kiddos at this daycare and love it, and they have a great reputation in the community.

If I am going to be fully engaged at work and avoid getting depressed at home, I am going to have to find some peace with this situation. The very little time I have with my boys is so precious and I am praying that I can rediscover a way to truly enjoy it.

Working on the wedding post right now...

I am currently working on pics and video from Kayla's wedding in Missouri. Judging from the clothes all over my sofa, you'd think we got back yesterday, but it was last week.

Watching Kyle get married last year evoked a ton of emotions for me. (I know, shocker.) It was at that time that I remembered a book that was recommended to me by a fellow Mom-o-boys.

This book applies Biblical principles to help mothers teach sons about God's design for husbands. And I have a sneaking suspicion it might talk some about helping Moms let go one day at a time.

I know it sounds corny, but I would not write it if it weren't true. I will feel so incredibly proud and satisfied (ok, I'm starting to tear up again...) if I send my sons down the aisle one day with the integrity and respect for women that Kyle possesses.

Anyway, more on Kayla's amazing wedding in a bit, which evoked many more but different types of emotions.

:)

Tooth on the loose!

Jack's recap of a most exciting afternoon...

It had not occurred to me that he was at tooth-losing age. How did this sneak up on us?

He said, "I really hope the tooth fairy brings me a quarter!!" That's our boy. He is excited to go on our trip this week to Missouri so he can be ring bearer in Kayla's wedding with his brand new smile. He's even more excited to show it to Mrs. Brockman in the morning.

So, let me ask those of you who have been through this... do you keep their little teeth?

My gut is to throw them away (as Julie gasps,) but I haven't really thought about it before today.

The job is great. Working is another story.

Well, it's become abundantly clear that it is going to take longer than we
expected to get used to this "new normal."

{It is 10:30pm and Davis is crying in his crib. He has developed a bit of a habit during these weeks of congestion and sickness. When he wakes up in the middle of the night, he wants to be held and rocked back to sleep. Those who know me know that I am not the "rock them to sleep" type.

But lately, missing him like crazy and feeling grateful that he still wants me, I have been a little too happy to oblige. So, I hate to hear him cry but I know he'll remember that he can put himself back to sleep. Besides, I don't want to feed another guilt-driven new habit.}

I digress...

So, I got my new mini-van and am loving it. It's a gold 2004 Honda Odyssey. Although there's definitely a sense of, "I finally get a mini-van and now I have no time to take my kids anywhere..." I have enjoyed piling five Recruiters in it to make rounds at the community hospitals. It's funny when one yells from the third row, "Momma, can we get some air back here?"

The return to work has reminded me how hard it is to find size 12-Wide women's dress shoes. I forget how much you actually NEED to have on hand in order to go to work every day. It requires different shoes, different undergarments, more makeup, a real purse, and it's really been a long time since I squeezed myself into pantyhose. Then there's the whole casual Friday issue. Great. I need "dressy jeans."

Once again, like I do every time I start a new job, I have considered ordering five Methodist Healthcare shirts and just rotating them every week. I really would if I didn't feel so frumpy in them.

{Side note: I decided to go in to make sure Jeff wasn't waiting up on my account and he's rocking Davis in the recliner. Jeff is smiling and so is the baby. We're totally creating a monster.}

I just don't remember working being THIS hard last time I did it. I don't remember time being THIS short or me being THIS tired. Well, it wasn't and I wasn't. What is so strikingly different this time around is that I have a kiddo in school. Oh yeah, and a second kiddo. BIG difference.

The hardest thing about working is the pace we are required to keep. When I pick them up at 6:00 pm (in heels, hose, and blazer) they are absolutely exhausted, starving, and filthy. Davis has been in daycare for eleven hours and hasn't had a snack since 2:00pm. Jack has been learning and obeying for 7 hours, then bused to daycare for 3 1/2 more. I juggle an antsy toddler, his paper report telling me that he didn't eat much and had trouble napping, the fundraiser packet, picture order form, plastic bag with wet clothes from "trying to use a big-boy cup" and reminder card that he's out of wipes and needs a replacement outfit. I buckle them in and pray that I remembered to bring them a snack to eat in the car.

I unload the van and in about two minutes the sofa is covered in my purse, work papers, two hoodies, daycare papers, Jack's backpack, the diaper bag, and four shoes are flying onto the carpet as they head to the kitchen to ask what's for dinner. I hate that the first thing they hear when we get home is, "Where do your shoes go? Is that where your backpack goes? Keep your brother out of the kitchen while I try to get dinner ready."

The rest of the evening (1.5 hours total before 8 pm bedtime) looks a little like a three-ring circus and I am the exhausted ringmaster. Daddy gets home right when they have finished eating and they head to the tub. We bathe them side by side and while he gets Davis' pajamas on, he prompts Jack, "Did you brush your teeth? Did you clear the table? Don't forget to go potty one more time." This is usually when I finally change out of my work clothes. As Davis drinks his milk and Jack brushes his teeth, Jeff clears the kids' dinner dishes and changes clothes. I put Davis to bed and Jeff tucks Jack in. At about 8:15 or 8:20 we look at each other like, "we did it" and start to make dinner for ourselves. After we eat, he unpacks Jack's lunchbox, I review homework and permission slips, etc. He puts dishes away (again) while I review the daycare menu and pack egg-free alternatives for Davis' snacks and meals for the next day. We label the paper sack with a Sharpie and can finally sit down at about 10pm.

It all starts again the next morning when the alarm clock rings at 5:55am.

I certainly do not record this in a plea for sympathy or to vent and complain. I realize that millions of Moms do this every single day, year after year. I also realize that their children turn out fine. I just want to remember what this time was like. I know that "this too shall pass" and I hear that someday I will wish for these days back. The thing is, I already want these days back.

{It's 11:50pm and Davis is crying again and Jeff can't get him to sleep. I will have to finish this post another time... there's a little stuffed up blondie in footed pajamas who smells like lotion who needs his Momma.}

After writing about all of this, his Momma needs him too.