Early decision at Mayfair.

I didn't know what to expect from the church where we'd be serving.  When we first arrived at Mayfair Baptist Church in Johannesburg, at first glance, it was much more modern than I imagined.  It didn't take long to see evidence of a shinier past, and I remembered Kyle telling us about how originally, the church congregation had consisted of primarily white, affluent South Africans.  When apartheid was abolished (in the 1990's!), the black community moved in, and a massive Squatter Camp was quickly erected just down the road.  The Whites moved out and Willie had a choice to make: Follow his congregation (and the money) to a safer part of town, or minister to the overwhelming need of the impoverished, somewhat uncivilized black community now knocking on his church doors.  Willie decided to stay.  This was his church, and these were now his people.  Since then, the highly under-resourced church and its ministries gained a whole new focus.

In typical American-fashion, my mind immediately thought about how cheap it would be to "fix up" the lobby, etc.  I started thinking about how I could raise funds for certain repairs they obviously needed.  I even considered taking pics of certain areas of disrepair... to go with my new 'plan' I had already started subconsciously brewing to communicate this "need" back home.

I noticed a bulletin board on the wall of the foyer with pictures of the previous Grace Point missionaries who had lived there.  I saw Ryan, and Kyle, and Stefani, and Tiffany and several Short-term Mission teams with familiar faces.  It was clear that the people of Mayfair see us as partners the same way we see them as partners.  I didn't really understand the long-term mission partner model until I saw this billboard.  The congregation began to arrive, hours before the service, one van-load at a time.  The same vans that tightly seated 14 Americans, were unloading 20-25 Africans, ready for church.  As soon as they unloaded, they went to collect another group.  The two vans made eight trips that morning.  As they got out, they warmly welcomed Kyle and clearly loved him and had missed him.  All of a sudden Kyle busted out a South African accent while talking to them and I laughed inside.  (It was like when Jeff talks to Indian people and immediately takes on their accent.)  Little did I know, I'd soon find myself talking the same way.

We were there with Jeff R. and Kristin C., Grace Pointers who had been on a previous trip and as the Mayfair church members saw them, they were greeted by name, with tight hugs and loving handshakes.  I was immediately thinking, "Wow, this bond was made in a ten-day trip?  I mean, that was at least a year ago!"  I wondered, "Will they know ME like this before I leave at the end of my 10-day stay?  Was this what Kyle meant when he described the Africans as a "relational" people?"  I realized it would only happen if I opened my heart to let them in.
 
So right then and there, in those first moments in the church, I decided I would do just that.  I'd let them in.  I'd let them teach me.  I'd let go of trying to control the situation and trying to control my emotions, and let go of expectations, and just go with it... and let the Spirit lead.  What a relief.  I stopped thinking about what I had to offer them, or what they could learn from me, because it was soon very clear: For the next ten days, I would most definitely be the student.

Bright lights and Garbage Pizza.

When we arrived in Johannesburg, it was super dark, which I still don't really understand.  We drove through the city in two "combis" or hand buses - one carrying our team, the other carrying one suitcase per person.   After immediately backing into a light pole in the airport parking lot, we set off, driving on the left side of the road, and sat quietly, looking out the window to see a sprawling city full of lights.  In the dark, it could have been Dallas.  Except, of course, for the burglar cages over the business doors and windows.  It was surprisingly modern, and there were towers and skyscrapers, and restaurants and billboards.  Written in English.  I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting.  I felt suddenly really intimidated, thinking about how much easier it would have been to go to a remote African village than this cold, hard concrete city.  Why had we chosen urban ministry?

As we drove half an hour, it was soon very clear we were getting to the poorer area of town.  The street lights were farther apart, and there was NO ONE out on the streets. Every home was surrounded by ten-foot concrete fences, most topped with barbed wire, broken glass or sharpened iron poles.  You don't see houses. Just fences, locked gates, and guards.  It was so cold, you could see the guards' breath as they stood along the fences. 

One driver (church member) took our things to the church, while the other took us to dinner at Ciro's Pizza in a dark shopping mall.  It looked like we were being let in to a closed mall after hours, but it's just that almost all businesses close as soon as it gets dark as it's unsafe to be outside after sunset.  Theft, assault, and carjacking are the main concerns.  Ciro's was the only store open in the entire mall.  When we parked, we saw a man loitering in the lot, and Kyle pitched him a dollar or so to watch our van while we ate.  He stood there and guarded our car to make sure nothing was stolen.  I'm not sure how we knew he was trustworthy, but it was the first time I saw Pastor Willie's influence as a friend of the community. 

It was clear that the owner of Ciro's Pizza also respected and admired Pastor Willie.  You could tell he had invested in this family for years.  We later find out that Willie has brought them much business, offered the family assistance in hard times and had shared the Gospel with them on many occasions.

< It just hit me how risky it was ordering what we did.  It was called the "Garbage Pizza" and was pretty much described as having "everything" on it.  That it did, and many of the ingredients I couldn't even identify.  Since our last three meals had been on a plane, we scarfed it down.  It was deeelish, but I'm still surprised no one got sick. >

We definitely stood out - fourteen loud Americans at one long u-shaped table.  Futbol was playing on the TV up in the corner of the room.  It kinda felt like we were in Africa, but strangely, it also kinda felt like we were just in downtown San Antonio.  We paid our van-watcher and headed back to the church for the night. 

The men slept in the loft in the sanctuary (think Baptist church, where the sound crew would be.) on thin futon-like "mattresses" with no heat in the middle of winter.  The nearest bathroom was upstairs behind the pulpit through a locked gate.  We left them and headed to where the women were staying, a few miles away. 

I didn't love this idea of being away from the men, and am not sure if I felt better or worse when we were introduced to the male guard who would be assigned to protect our cottage gate all through the night... all week.  We unlocked an iron gate (then locked it behind us) which led to another locked iron door (which we locked behind us), which led to double dead bolts on the wooden cottage door.  We had a pre-paid cell phone and so did the guys.  Kyle told us to "rest up" because ministry would begin bright and early... so we triple locked ourselves in, claimed our beds, and felt a tinge of guilt for how nice our quarters were.  We had space heaters, plenty of blankets, and even had a mini fridge.  Oh, and a hot tea maker.  Oh, and microwave.  We had an enclosed tub, no hot water, but we decided not to tell the guys how nice we had it.  We prayed together, set our alarm for 6:45 am, and turned out the lights.

And if you know me at all, you know I had absolutely no trouble falling or staying asleep the whole night.


(Oh, and I'll get back to the journal entry from the plane. We just had frozen Tony's Pizza for dinner and it reminded me to write about Ciro's.)

"I suggest you try to sleep."

When we got on the plane for our trip, I hadn't mentally processed that the flight was 18 hours and what that really meant.  I was so amped, anxious, and nervous, but definitely a novice to long flights.  We boarded our flight in Atlanta with our motley crew of 14 Grace Pointers, lead by our Missions Pastor Kyle Burkholder, former Jo'burg resident and expert for our trip.  I sat in the middle seat between Jeff and a small South African girl.  I was excited that my cultural experience would start early, imagining after a full day strapped in adjacent seats, we'd end up pen pals at the very least.

We got in the air and I wish I could remember what time it was that they turned out the lights and declared over the loudspeaker that it was night time.  All I know is that just because you pull all the windows down and turn off the lights, does not make me forget that it's the middle of the afternoon and TRICK me into thinking it's bedtime.  Especially since we were running on adrenaline.  So, lights are out, and Kyle says to us, all smart-like, "I suggest you try to sleep."  We laugh, and start watching movies and getting to know each other while he crashes as though he didn't just finish eating lunch.

Fast forward to the REAL middle of the night.  There's a button on the back of the seat that gives you the time remaining on your trip and provides a long arched line along which a little plane travels over the big blue ocean so you can track your trip progress.  Um... that's a lot of water.  Time remaining: 12 hours.  I watch "The King's Speech" in its entirety.  Time remaining: 10 hours.  I try to watch "Babies: the Documentary."  Way too many boobs.  I get embarrassed and turn it off because I think people are looking at my screen.  Time remaining: 9.25 hours.  I watch two documentaries, play about ten games of "Memory", write in my journal, lament the fact that had I lost that last fifteen pounds I TOO might be able to curl into a ball and lay my head on the food tray, but alas, I did not.  Bending was not happening. 

Anyway, when I finally decided to close my eyes and managed to fall asleep, the lights come on and people start opening their windows.  I'm so confused.  Kyle is all awake and his body is all fresh and adjusted.  We all look like college kids who've overslept and Mom's pulling back the shades telling you it's noon.  Time remaining: 6 hours. 

I start to panic.  I can't do this.  What is something happens?  When is that freaking little plane going to be over land?  Why did we BOTH come?  Should one parent have stayed behind with our kids?  Why in the world did I give up soda when I had this flight ahead of me, and why do the cups they bring you hold only 2 ounces??  And why won't my future South African pen pal even look over at me?

I decided to take a deep breath and journal about what I expected from the trip, what I hoped to learn, what I wanted God to do (I'm sure He'd appreciate me providing Him an agenda), and what I was feeling about our decision to follow His call, and all the things He had already done to show His hand was ALL over this trip.  I'll post what I wrote in my next blog entry. 

Re-reading my first journal entry is like when you've become a Mother, and then you go back and read the words you penned right before the baby was born.  You realize you had NO idea what you were about to experience.  You had such low expectations for the blessings you were about to receive.  You realize you were so naive about the challenges you'd face and the difficult choices you'd soon be forced to make. 

Most of all, you couldn't even fathom how this child, this gift, would bring you so much closer to understanding the fullness of the unconditional love of God.

Souf Apricot.

That's what Davis called it last year, as we prepped him for our being away in South Africa for 10 days.  He was 2 1/2, and all he knew was he would get to go night-night at Grammy's, then night-night at Mamaw's, then at Nana's, and then Aunt Mel's, and then at home.  We knew it would be a long ten days, but also knew that this trip required sacrifice for a LOT of people, and our little blondie was no exception.  Jack understood more, but I'm quite certain he thought we'd be seeing safari animals, so he was excited.  And we were bringing him a surprise.

We knew the trip would be amazing, would open our eyes to another culture, and we hoped it would re-connect us with our faith.  After all, we'd watched teams come and go on short-term mission trips at Grace Point.  We wanted to be fired up too.  We wanted to see the world.  We wanted to become closer as a couple.

Not only did God fulfill our hopes for the trip, He revealed much, much bigger plans for us and put us on a path we did not expect.  In the next series of posts, I hope to record the highlights of last year's trip using pictures, diary and journal entries, and vivid memories (and hopefully some guest posts from the huz... no promises) and take you along as we return to South Africa in just 90 days.  The nine months that have passed since the trip have been some of our hardest, and the stories I plan to tell are not all easy to share. 

Thank you for sharing this journey with us, praying for us, and financially supporting us.  To know you believe in us, believe in this ministry, and believe these lives are worth saving means the world to me, to Jeff, and to the precious people of Souf Apricot.

More to come!

We Blog Together...

After sending much (way too much) time reading over my past blog posts, reflecting on how many details I have forgotten, remembering, smiling, listening to little videos of the boys little tiny voices. I must. return. to. blogging.

I must get over the fact that I don't have to "go back and re-cap" and just start from now... so that is what I will do. Well, with a good bit of re-cap I am sure. 

I have been promoted to Independent Director with Thirty-one Gifts, and my team currently consists of 26 women! I am working toward earning a trip for two to Cancun next October, and am enjoying being able to stay home full-time again with my boys. Jeff's job is the same, and Jack's in 2nd grade, and Davis is 3.2 years old.

Okay, so...

Today, Davis and I went to CVS to print pictures for a poster because "Oh Mom I forgot I have a poster due yesterday!" It's an "About Me" poster on Jack because he's Student of the Week! I am quite sure it's just his turn aphabetically, but any excuse to recognize him for his overall awesomeness is good enough for me.

So, they had to list their faves and he lists his favorite song as "Dinomite," you know, your traditional Baptist kids' favorite, "We gon' rock this club, we gon' go all night, we' gon' light it up, like it's Dinomite!" Um, yes, we are so proud. He also said his favorite movie is Flipper. Random.

We got their matching Ninja costumes ready and tonight is pumpkin carving night... more to come on the Halloween front. Jack's still debating on whether he's too old (cool) to wear his Ninja costume into Daddy's work... which has been a tradition... so we'll see how that pans out.

We're also gearing up for some Fall Family photos this weekend taken by some good friends of ours and I can't wait to see how they turn out. I plan to lose six pounds per day until then.

Potty-training, broken bones, and Valentines.

Holy cow... I just came across this unposted blog entry from SEVEN months ago (3/16/11)... no time like the present to post it, I guess... MBG

=========================

Lots to update, but again I find myself clicking away late at night when I should be in bed, so finding time to blog again alludes me. So, random musings to follow:

Davis pee-peed on the potty three times today, which is great because despite my best efforts, it's become a stand-off lately. "Let's put on your BIG BOY Undies!" followed by, "NO! I want Elmo diaper!" quickly followed by, "Okay, Momma ain't gonna fight ya..."

If I could just dedicate some time to it, I am sure he'd be a quick study, but I'm still waiting to catch my breath most of the time. Jack's continuing to love First Grade, and his teacher challenges him and appreciates him, which is all I could ever hope for for my special boy. He's going on his first GT Field Trip where they'll be looking at different structures downtown to go along with his Architecture unit. I'd go with them, but it's too dang hot.

The assignment reminded me of a big Architecture paper we had to do in High School on which I totally cheated and got caught and created a huge scandal within the MacArthur GT English program. It was totally embarrassing for me AND my parents, but was good for some laughs at the 10-year reunion.... "Hey Melissa, remember how you got caught in that GT English scandal, and the next year the whole school had to sign the now-famous MacArthur High School Code of Honor?" Yes, yes I do, thank you very much. I also remember saying, "They should call it the Lynch Code of Honor, in MY honor!" Yep, fun (mature) times.

Anyway, Davis is talking so much more and saying such funny things. He's SO different from Jack Everett at this age, but his little personality is starting to come through more every day. He has never met a stranger and says hello to EVERYONE at stores, walking along the street, etc. I asked him today, "Davis, do you know what Jack's MIDDLE name is?" He said, "Brudder." Awwww... He can also make some mean sound effects for his age... spaceships, explosions, "shooters." (a.k.a. guns), he can do 'em all. 

We enjoyed a Valentine's Day photo shoot with them at a friend's house and captured these cute shots. Davis got his "boot" off - yes, he broke his foot jumping off a bookshelf and the cast was on for six weeks - a few days after these pics were taken, and he will tell anyone he meets, "Docker taked my boot off!" 

So, here they are, my sweet boys. We have a feeling this will be some of the last pics with Jack's small front teeth. The bigun's are making their way in, pushing out some of the smaller ones to make room. 

Jack Everett, 6.5 and Davis Jarrell, 2.5

Strangers in the night...

I am really trying to figure out how I can reincorporate blogging into my life. The problem is, I am already spending entirely too much time at this laptop as it is. However, I cherish the record I have of Jack's younger days, and now Davers is saying and doing such hilarious things too... that I will surely forget if not recorded.

The "Thirty-one" business is booming and keeping me busy for sure. Mostly busy with new friendships, if I'm being honest. The part-time job at the church keeps me busy too, mostly phone calls.

Davis is not interested in sharing my attention with a computer or a cell phone, so the time I do have is pretty precious. I may have to take another Facebook hiatus in order to return to the blogosphere.

I will also have to get over the idea that I will "take an entire day to post everything that has happened and get all caught up" before I can start posting again. This here post was really an intentional act of rejecting that unreasonable expectation and breaking the ice with my readership. ha.

So, I am not sure anyone cares any more, but I do. And I have to believe that in the future... Davis will. He already LOVES to watch videos of Jack when he was younger... almost as much as Jack likes to watch videos of Jack when he was younger. You should see them laughing at old footage.

You know, I ought to video THAT!

Here they are... Jack and Davers, at 6.5 yrs and 2.5 yrs, holding Baby Reagan ("Baby Waygin", 3 mos.) at Christmas...

More to come... hopefully sooner than later.

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

I finally did it! I threw the birthday party for Jesus that I've always wanted to throw. It was simple and adorable. The kids loved having their friends over and their Mommy did too. I got pictures and videos. And quickly threw them into a post on Facebook.

I gotta get away from Facebook and back to this blog. To me, Facebook is like renting and this blog is like home ownership. Renting is faster and easier and less stress in the short run, but in the end, you don't have anything to show for it. I go back and re-read blog entries ALL THE TIME, and enjoy seeing how things were way back when and look at pictures and say, "Oh my gosh, I had totally forgotten about that!" So, I will figure out how to keep it in my life before Davis' memories go undocumented. Not to mention, I am sure he is going to say some CRAZY FUNNY stuff! Heck, he already does!

Okay, so here are a couple of pics from this morning...

Party guests from left to right = Toby (3), Alli Jean (5), Jack (6), TJ (4), Davis (2), Devin (6), and Evan (3). They were SO good and participated in the reading of the Christmas story and Nativity Scene Reenactment.

Between tracking down and delivering Thirty-one orders, finishing up last minute Santa wrapping/hiding/rearranging, and Christmas crafts, we're keeping very busy.

I have a feeling that my next post will be about potty-training Davis. You know how when you ask kids a question in Sunday School, they don't even think before immediately answering, "Jesus!!" because most of the time that's the right answer? Well, that's how Davis is. I ask him, "Tell Daddy what we did today!" His immediate response? "I pee-pee'd in the potty!" To which Jeff exclaims, "Wow, you did!??? Oh my, what a big boy to..." until I call from the kitchen, "... No he didn't!!"

So, he's ready. He gets that it's a big deal, he's pooped and peed on the potty and has even come to get me to tell me ... at home and in public. And he loves to watch the Elmo Potty Time video. You know, the one where kids call out the term THEY use for going #2?! Yes. The kid yells into the camera, "I call it DOOKIE!" and just when you furl your brow because THAT's something you wish they would have left out... another yells, "I call it CACA!" I am not kidding. Jack watched that video several times and never muttered either word, but of course Davers yells "DOOKIE!" over and over after that scene. *sigh*

So, today, I think I decided Santa is going to bring him BRAND NEW (handed down from Evan) "big boy underwear!" ... and Mamaw and Pops are bringing a different Elmo video, thank you very much.

Not sure how this post started with "Happy Birthday, Jesus" and ended with me talking about CACA, but that's about how my days go lately...

We thought this was a funny outtake as Davers' arms make it look like Jack's wearing a full-body striped getup and is riding on Davis' shoulders! And their faces are just weird-funny.

Merry Christmas everyone, from our family to yours.

Jack Everett (6 yrs) and Davis Jarrell (2 yrs)

We'll catch up after the New Year! Can't wait to upload pics of a few big gift items the boys are getting this year. Better not write about them just yet, now that Sherlock Everett Holmes can read.

Deck the Halls!

It's time to decorate for Christmas (well, a bit past time) and I remind myself that it is worth the trouble. Worth the time. The kids will celebrate what we celebrate and by oversimplifying Christmas we might be sending them the message that it is NOT as big a deal as it is. SO the goal tomorrow is to clean the living room enough to pull out the tree and start decorating when Daddy gets home from work.

Then Tuesday, I am headed to Bjorn's to do a public service. I am helping the husbands and boyfriends find something special for their wives from Thirty-one. With guaranteed Christmas delivery and $5 giftwrapping, there will be no excuses. This is an effort to complete my goal of 12 parties in my first 90 days and I'm almost there! My first check was awesome - almost enough to cover the mortgage payment! Sweet!

I am also taking a part-time position at the church as the Volunteer Coordinator for the Children's Ministry. This will start after the New Year and will include 20 hours of work, and will provide Davis 2 days in the Kids Day Out program from 9am to 2pm. Looking forward to that, but enjoying the days leading to Christmas, happy (beyond happy) to be home with my boys.

I am missing the blog, but enjoying the time away from the computer. I read back over my blog so often, though, and am so thankful that I captured the memories included here. I go back and forth with the motivation for blogging, and struggle every once in a while with finding a balance with it all... but want to find my way back here. After Christmas perhaps?

Let's concentrate on getting the tree up first...

Once a Recruiter...

I have been at it for about 7 weeks, and have already doubled the size of my team at Thirty-one! That's right, there are now two of us. Melanie, a friend and fellow Mommy-blogger has become a consultant and I have thoroughly enjoyed showing her the ropes. I can tell that growing new consultants is going to be one of my favorite aspects of this job.

Even though I haven't been at it long, it's fun to share ideas and to save her from some of the learning experiences I've faced. We're going to attend the Thirty-One Director meeting on Thursday (held once per month) and over 65 consultants have already RSVP'd for the meeting. I am excited. I can't wait to get my first real paycheck at the end of the month. What to spend it on... hmmm... I'm sure Jeff can help me come up with something.

We're preparing for my cousin Coby's wedding on Saturday in Houston, and Jack the Ring Bearer is quite the pro at this point. This will be his first time to walk the aisle with a GIRL so I am anxious to see how that goes. While trying on his vest and bowtie at Men's Wearhouse yesterday, he got all serious and said, "Mom, this is the LAST time I am going to be a Ring Bearer, okay?" He explained in the car that "he likes it, but everything he has to wear is so ITCHY!"

I am especially excited about finally meeting my new niece, Reagan Aliza Lynch this weekend. I have been dying to hold her and am counting the days... I'm also excited to host a Thirty-one party at my friend Dana's house in Cypress on Sunday night. Come to think of it, I haven't mentioned it to Jeff yet. Oops.

Jiggety Jig.

I am at home again full-time. I can hardly believe it. It feels like I just have a few days of vacation time, and I am quite sure if he could articulate it, Davers would be asking when the heck this little vacation will be over. It's been Baby Boot Camp for three days as I am trying to re-train some habits that aren't "BAD" per se... but habits that are okay in daycare, but not okay at home. Let's just say that when I catch him trying to get into the pantry he reflexively grabs his hiny in anticipation of the "sad spoon." I knew it wouldn't be an easy transition, but see things getting better every single day.

While I am on the look-out for a part-time HR role after the New Year, I am hoping that the Thirty-One continues to work out as well as it has so far. I have sold just under $4000 worth of products in my first month! From what I can tell, that's an awesome start, and I feel very blessed to have started during the holiday shopping season. I really enjoy the parties, and Jeff's been a real trooper about stepping in on Daddy Duty when I have a party.

I was all excited to meet Jack and Mrs. B in the parent pick-up area on Monday and Tuesday, but today, on Day Three, he rode the bus home. I just can't bear waking up Tazmanian Devil to go get Jack when he can be delivered to my front step while Bubba is sleeping. I enjoyed the extra time today to help him with his homework in peace.

Speaking of his homework, his teacher has been typing up special homework for him to keep him challenged. Last week's spelling words for the class were: "up, fun, us, but, cut, run, sun, bus, and rug." So she sent home Jack's special list, which included "harvesting crops, religious freedom, national holiday, long journey, The Mayflower, November, Pilgrims, and Thanksgiving." He got a 100! He amazes us every day.

This week's words are "extraordinary, spectacular, outstanding, wonderful, awesome, incredible, and courageous." Well, we always start with a pre-test to see how he does, and he only missed one:

"CRAGES"

Gosh, I love this kid. Had to laugh.

Things are a'changin' in Griffintown.

Well, after several rounds of "How 'bout this? How 'bout that?," it became clear Friday that Methodist was not going to be able to offer me a part-time schedule that would make sense for our family. With so many changes and unknowns over the past year, one thing never wavered... how much I was missing spending quality time with my boys - all three of them. So, we took the plunge, and I gave notice at work. The team needs someone else. And I need something else.

I am grateful to Methodist for many things. First, they took a chance on me after I'd been a stay-at-home Mom for 18 months. In HR, that's an eternity. This job gave me the chance to launch a social media campaign, which is awesome on my resume. It allowed me to design, market, and create. In HR, that can be rare. It also introduced me to some amazing people with whom I know I'll keep in touch for a LONG long time.

I loved the work when I was there, but at the end of the day (or week), I couldn't ever seem to turn it off. The pace is too much for me, especially when I struggle so with how much time the boys were spending at daycare, and guilt over some the influence it has had on Davis.

I am not sure how we are going to make ends meet, but trust that God will reward our obedience to the call to return to Him and return to the family. I am excited about the Thirty-one business and the timing of getting into it. I have booked six total parties so far and look forward to filling even more slots before Christmas. I also have my feelers out in case a part-time Human Resources role happens upon me, but won't be actively looking until at least after the New Year.

I am SO excited to be home again, and am thankful for these past 10 months, because I will enjoy the time that much more now that I know the frantic, chaotic alternative.

On top of all that change, guess who poo-pooed in the potty yesterday?!! Davers! Yes, the same boy who has slept the past THREE nights in his BIG BOY toddler bed! Wow, I can't wait to get to know him again.